Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
nikonpup
Senior Member
After retiring, Mr. Johnson moved into a condo near the ocean. Every morning, while he ate his breakfast, he would look out the window at the ocean. Almost every morning, Mr. Johnson saw a young man sitting on the dock, fishing. It didn't matter if the weather was good, so-so, or downright terrible. The fisherman seemed to go to the dock every morning. After he had lived in his condo for a few months, Mr. Johnson noticed something. Some mornings, the fisherman would sit on the left side of the dock. Other mornings, he would sit on the right side. And on still other mornings, the fisherman would sit at the end of the dock. There didn't seem to be a pattern to this. Mr. Johnson wondered how the fisherman decided where to sit when he went fishing. One morning, Mr. Johnson decided he would find out. He got dressed, and without eating his breakfast, left the condo and went to the dock, arriving there at the same time as the fisherman. "Excuse me, sir," Mr. Johnson said to the fisherman. "I've noticed that sometimes you fish from the left side of the dock, sometimes you fish from the right side of the dock, and sometimes you fish from the end of the dock. How do you decide where to fish from?" "Well," said the fisherman, "every morning, I wake up and look at my wife. If she's lying on her left side, I fish from the left side of the dock. If she's lying on her right side, I fish from the right side of the dock. If she's lying on her stomach, I fish from the end of the dock." "That's an interesting method," said Mr. Johnson, "but what if she's lying on her back?" The fisherman looked slyly at Mr. Johnson and said, "On days like that, you don't go fishing."
nikonpup
Senior Member
A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." "Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here." "But I didn't go to any of those shows.." She Pleaded. "Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But Madam, this check is for only $50.00". "That's correct", she replied. "I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." "But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
