Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.


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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, who was being extremely rude in class... So, one day she asked Little Johnny what his problem was. He replied, "I'm too smart for the first grade... " "my sister is in the third grade, and I'm smarter than her too." The teacher took him to the principle's office, and explained the situation to the principle. The principle told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question correctly... he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed. The principle asked, "What's 3x3?" Johnny replied, "9." "6x6?" asked the principle. "36," Johnny quickly replied. It continued on like this for almost an hour. The principle asked Johnny every question a third grader should know, and he answered them all correctly... Finally, the principle told the teacher, "I see no reason Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right." The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principle and Johnny agree. So, the teacher asks Johnny, "What does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?" "Legs," Johnny replies. The teacher then asks, "What do you have in your pants, that I don't have?" The principle gasps, but before he can stop him from answering... Johnny says, "Pockets." Then the teacher asks, "What does a dog do, that a man steps into?" Johnny says, "Pants." Finally, the teacher asks, "What starts with "F", ends with "K", and means a lot of excitement?" "Firetruck!" says Johnny. The principle breathes a big sigh of relief, then says, "Put Johnny in the fifth grade... " "I got the last four questions wrong myself!"


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Senior Member
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and starts to read a book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says:
“Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.


Senior Member
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar.

Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!”

“Sorry,” replied the guy. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for everything.”

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he’s in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar.

he monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks.

“Yeah,” replies the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first.”