Dad, a girl invited me over to her house! "Oh, that is great Billy. But you should be careful, you are young, and an STD, or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a condom if the situation arises... Actually, NO. I don't trust you son. Put it on right now, because at the heat of the moment you will forget." And so, Billy did. And he heads over to the girl's place. After a chat and some drinks, things got saucy. "Wait", she said, "In order to continue, you have to pass a test." She then removed her shirt, proclaiming, "My breasts! Pure and untouched. Only the sun on beach days had ever had a feel of them" She then removed her skirt. "My thighs. Pure and touched by no one. Only the wind on breezy days has ever felt their softness." Finally, she removed her panties. "And last, my vagina, pure and untouched. No one has ever felt its warmth, nor the wind nor the sun. So, tell me Billy, should I let you feel my body? Are you capable to match my purity?" "Sure", he claims as he pulls downs his pants, "I am so pure and untouched, my willy is still in the wrapper"
A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and dancing, but every once in a while, the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?" The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should." "Why not?" the nun asked. "Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private parts are covered only by a fig leaf." "Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way." So, the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she preceded to use the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?" "Well, now they know you're one of us." said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?" "But I still don't understand!" said the puzzled nun. "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out in the whole place. Now how about that drink?"