Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
nikonpup
Senior Member
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!
How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!
How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
=)
A father was a little late to buy a birthday gift for his daughter…
At the toy shop:
• …and what would you have in the Barbie newer collection?
* This tennis Barbie is the newest addition.
• Na…
* Oh yes, there is the "Barbie teacher" as well?
• Show me the biggest Barbie box you have…
* Here is the divorce Barbie, very expensive…
• Divorce? $…???
* Yes, just under 500$!
• 500… What's in it?
* Well, it contains Kent's car, house, boat…
_________________________________________________
A friend of mine wanted to cheer me up with that joke!
"You are lucky in a way with your divorce, you draw a line and all
are going one with their lives… and you keep your boys… that's great!
Yeah… you may be right… but you have your kids too…!
The big difference is the line.
…???
I never could draw that line and that hurts…
My friend has lost his wife to cancer within 10 days!
A father was a little late to buy a birthday gift for his daughter…
At the toy shop:
• …and what would you have in the Barbie newer collection?
* This tennis Barbie is the newest addition.
• Na…
* Oh yes, there is the "Barbie teacher" as well?
• Show me the biggest Barbie box you have…
* Here is the divorce Barbie, very expensive…
• Divorce? $…???
* Yes, just under 500$!
• 500… What's in it?
* Well, it contains Kent's car, house, boat…
_________________________________________________
A friend of mine wanted to cheer me up with that joke!
"You are lucky in a way with your divorce, you draw a line and all
are going one with their lives… and you keep your boys… that's great!
Yeah… you may be right… but you have your kids too…!
The big difference is the line.
…???
I never could draw that line and that hurts…
My friend has lost his wife to cancer within 10 days!
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On a beautiful summer's day, two tourists were driving through Wales .
At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch,
they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,
'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.
Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'..........
The girl leaned over and said,
'Burrr ... gurrr ... king'
At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch,
they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,
'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.
Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'..........
The girl leaned over and said,
'Burrr ... gurrr ... king'
I thought you’d want to know about this new e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot eradicate this one. It appears to affect people born prior to 1965.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
Done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
That too!
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
Yep!
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
Aha!
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
That one too!
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.
Oh no, not again!
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND.."
I hate that!
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."
Oh No!
IT’S CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
Hmmm...
Have I already posted this or has someone else
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
Done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
That too!
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
Yep!
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
Aha!
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
That one too!
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.
Oh no, not again!
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND.."
I hate that!
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."
Oh No!
IT’S CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
Hmmm...
Have I already posted this or has someone else
mikeh32217
Senior Member
Cop stop a red neck and asks him "got any ID" and the red neck says "bout what?"
Carolina Photo Guy
Senior Member
Carolina Photo Guy
Senior Member
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his ******* head.
I'm not a morning person.
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his ******* head.
I'm not a morning person.
mr2_serious
Senior Member
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
"No eye deer"
Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2
nikonpup
Senior Member
HOW DO YOU OPEN YOUR BEER? Biertijd.com // Media » How to Open a Beer - The Ultimate Compilation
Carolina Photo Guy
Senior Member
If I made a post about a Democrat Priest on fire,
would that post be political, religious or inflammatory?
Just wondering.
would that post be political, religious or inflammatory?
Just wondering.