@hark has hit the nail squarely on the head Bill. You need legal advise to help you plan for the future. Perhaps there is some little thing or the other you could do to earn extra income. This might be a good time to cull thru your photo library for one images that might be marketable. I am sure you can get a lot of advise from this site about that. Maybe use you portrait set up and try some still lives. You 85mm would be excellent for that. Pick one thing a day that you must get done and do it. Tomorrow expand that to 2 things. there are days I just don't feel like going into the shop, but i make a list of what needs done and i go in anyway and I don't leave until they are done. Shoot one photo a day and then sit down and edit it to make it as good as it can be. And post the results for your friends here to see.
Really awful news has been delivered to my wife and I
- Thread starter Bill16
- Start date
First I am disabled and I've already tried vocational rehab. I "have to" make do with my current disability income.
I am waiting till I have her death certificate to try check on social security so they will talk to me about her info. I already checked on her pension and they said they can't say for sure (but they doubt she did) and I need the death certificate before they will say for sure. But they did stop her pension pay out, pending the results after they get a copy of the death certificate.
I got a big enough hint to believe the house will be put into my name likely debt free from the way the guy acted. I also won't loose my house due to taxes, since the tax return is suppose to be the full amount, and that will cover the house taxes with money to spare. So it would be other things that could use up the monthly income, that could possibly cause the issues if any.
We already were getting help with electricity, and I will check on the cable, though they didn't volunteer any help when I talked to them about it earlier.
I may have to trade down the car due to the car payments aren't covered by my wife's insurance being in my name alone.
The photography gear is on the back burner. The last lens is I believe is just that,the last lens for me period.I am hoping to keep the internet phone and cable, though I will have to get the lowest priced bundle I think.
Anyway thank you Cindy for caring my friend.
I am waiting till I have her death certificate to try check on social security so they will talk to me about her info. I already checked on her pension and they said they can't say for sure (but they doubt she did) and I need the death certificate before they will say for sure. But they did stop her pension pay out, pending the results after they get a copy of the death certificate.
I got a big enough hint to believe the house will be put into my name likely debt free from the way the guy acted. I also won't loose my house due to taxes, since the tax return is suppose to be the full amount, and that will cover the house taxes with money to spare. So it would be other things that could use up the monthly income, that could possibly cause the issues if any.
We already were getting help with electricity, and I will check on the cable, though they didn't volunteer any help when I talked to them about it earlier.
I may have to trade down the car due to the car payments aren't covered by my wife's insurance being in my name alone.
The photography gear is on the back burner. The last lens is I believe is just that,the last lens for me period.I am hoping to keep the internet phone and cable, though I will have to get the lowest priced bundle I think.
Anyway thank you Cindy for caring my friend.
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I don't think anyone here doubts you are struggling with grief. The problem is some people don't know what to say in situations such as this, but please don't think people's silence means they don't care.
Grief alone is a very heavy burden to carry. Coupled with the financial problems, most likely you are overwhelmed...and depressed Again, it is understandable; however, you need to see yourself as being a valuable person. After all, Anice found value in you, didn't she?! And you thought the world of her, right? So her opinion of you holds a lot of weight, Bill. Perhaps you don't value yourself as much as she valued you, but obviously she saw a great deal of worth in you as a person.
So besides getting in touch with the people I mentioned in my last post, I want you to do something, Bill. Go and open up your camera bag and look at all your gear! I want you to pick one item...whether it is a camera body, lens, bag, or whatever. Now go back in your memory to when you first acquired that item. What I want you to do is to feel the joy you felt when you bought that item. Think about how you were going to use that item and the happiness you felt when you opened the package and held it for the first time. What I want you to do is to get into the state of mind you were in when you first received that item. Feeling some joy, even though it won't be a lot and won't last long, is very important. You may have made promises to Anice, and you want to honor those promises. You need to periodically pull yourself out of feeling despair and grief even for a few minutes a day. It's okay to smile for a few moments.
To be clear on the tax comment, usually homes are taxed yearly for property and school taxes. You need to find out if they are payable annually or bi-annually. Up here they fall due at two different times of the year. Just want to be sure you are covered, Bill. I wan't talking about income tax day (April 15th), or taxes associated with it.
Dude ! You will not put a downer on anyone here !! Part of the healing process is to talk, I know I would like to hear about your beloved and all the great things you achieved with her and I believe other people will to, not only about the good things but the struggles you are facing now, we are here for you !!
Ring them, ask to speak to a supervisor to discuss your package, talk it through with them, tell them the situation and that if you keep the packages as they are then you will fall behind and that's not good for either of you. Its better to be proactive than reactive.
As long as you have got something that can get you from A to B and to these fishing trips you are looking forward to that is all that matters, take the burden of finance and insurance payments being too high off your shoulders whilst you can.
I know its hard bud and we are all wishing you well and our thoughts are all with you but its the little things if you don't tackle them now, they will rear their head in a few months and it will have snowballed out of control ...
We are all here for you my friend !!!
Bill, I understand your grief. And I'm sorry for what you are going through. But, a couple things need to be said. I may over step here. But bare with me.
1) Stop giving stuff away. What you think is sentimental to others is also sentimental to you. Wait until you have a clear head before doing this. Remember the Nikon 1 you gave away? How was that important to their loss?
2) Get legal help. It can be found for low cost/free.
3) Get a health check up. Both physical and mental. You went through a lot. I care about you.
4) Get out and enjoy what you love to do, photography. It isn't just portraits. You are doing awesome in other areas as well.
When my mom lost my step dad a few years ago she went through the same thing. She wanted to give me things that I knew she also held dear. In the end I accepted his railroad watch and his knife collection. She kept the John Deere and train items that he really loved. See what I'm saying?
Since I don't know your past with the family I can't judge. But, I feel if you really think about this. You can.
1) Stop giving stuff away. What you think is sentimental to others is also sentimental to you. Wait until you have a clear head before doing this. Remember the Nikon 1 you gave away? How was that important to their loss?
2) Get legal help. It can be found for low cost/free.
3) Get a health check up. Both physical and mental. You went through a lot. I care about you.
4) Get out and enjoy what you love to do, photography. It isn't just portraits. You are doing awesome in other areas as well.
When my mom lost my step dad a few years ago she went through the same thing. She wanted to give me things that I knew she also held dear. In the end I accepted his railroad watch and his knife collection. She kept the John Deere and train items that he really loved. See what I'm saying?
Since I don't know your past with the family I can't judge. But, I feel if you really think about this. You can.
I thank you all, but this thread is overwhelming me right now.I can't talk about my beloved, because it's tearing me apart. This is the truth of it.
I am mentally and physically disabled.
Severe major Depression(suicide level without meds), I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks due to agorophobia( being to far from home,stange or new places,to many people,being around almost anyone too long,even just thinking about having to leave the house can cause it) poor memory, and other mental issues I can't likely remember right now for example.
I suffer from chronic pain, in my knees,hips,lower back, neck, and chronic severe headaches. I can't do "anything at all" too long or too much without increasing my pain.
I am posting this info about me so hopefully you'll understand me better.
I am mentally and physically disabled.
Severe major Depression(suicide level without meds), I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks due to agorophobia( being to far from home,stange or new places,to many people,being around almost anyone too long,even just thinking about having to leave the house can cause it) poor memory, and other mental issues I can't likely remember right now for example.
I suffer from chronic pain, in my knees,hips,lower back, neck, and chronic severe headaches. I can't do "anything at all" too long or too much without increasing my pain.
I am posting this info about me so hopefully you'll understand me better.
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Thank you my friend. I will avoid anymore giving stuff away for a while.
I went to see my shrink today, I have a doctors appointment this next month too.
I will try to get more photos this next week. Thank you for that major compliment of my photography!
I went to see my shrink today, I have a doctors appointment this next month too.
I will try to get more photos this next week. Thank you for that major compliment of my photography!
Be sure you follow up regularly with this doctor, and if you take meds, make it a priority to not miss a dose.
Looking forward to some images once you receive your 14-24mm lens.
Bill, I sympathise with your suffering and hope you'll get through this as time goes by.
When you say you are waiting for the death certificate, did you make certain that you asked the right person to issue a copy to you? Usually this document is available a day or two after the death occurs and I'm wondering how come you still haven't got it. As a spouse you should already have it IMHO.
Best regards.
When you say you are waiting for the death certificate, did you make certain that you asked the right person to issue a copy to you? Usually this document is available a day or two after the death occurs and I'm wondering how come you still haven't got it. As a spouse you should already have it IMHO.
Best regards.
Danno_RIP
Senior Member
Bill, as a result of my stroke I have many of these same issues; especially the anxiety, panic and constant severe headaches. I know your wife was your rock. You will need to find someone you can trust to carry the burden of the legal stuff and help keep you on track with the medical stuff too because it is really easy to isolate yourself. I do not know about you, but I can hardly talk details with social security or doctors without getting wound up and confused. The hardest part is reaching out and getting someone to help you with stuff... especially someone you can trust. I do not have acrophobia... but because my self confidence takes a beating on this stuff it is hard to trust others.
Than get some time to capture the beauty of God's creation. Praying for you to find peace Bill. Take care my friend.
Well things might be getting worse for me. I had to trade down on my car today, traded in my honda 2012 CRV with only 8,000 miles on it, in on a GMC 2005 canyon with 130,000 miles on it.
It looks like saving our home might also be a long shot at best, since there was no life insurance covering the home equity loan. So it is in heavy debt, and I might not make enough to keep it.
There was more bad news, but I will leave it at that for now in hopes things might get better.
It looks like saving our home might also be a long shot at best, since there was no life insurance covering the home equity loan. So it is in heavy debt, and I might not make enough to keep it.
There was more bad news, but I will leave it at that for now in hopes things might get better.
That last photo is the last photo of our Honda CRV. This shot is of the neighborhood down the alley.
That's your alley? That is better than my streets/roads! Ha!
Keep shooting Bill. Nice shots with your new lens.
Here is my beloved's obituary, that was posted online.
Anice Benton Grissom - Albemarle - Carolina Cremation
Anice Benton Grissom - Albemarle - Carolina Cremation
I'll be thinking about you this afternoon during Anice's funeral.
Once again I will suggest you contact a lawyer. Earlier you said you gave the son/ex some things of value and that her funeral is to be paid by her ex; yet the Go Fund Me page says the money raised will help cover those costs. Seems like they want to cover their own expenses (and they make out getting the items of value), but makes me wonder if you will really receive any of the donations. Please take care of yourself, Bill. Continued prayers for you.
I don't believe I get any of the go fund me money. It goes to the funural costs from what I understand. The exhusband paid for the cremation, and I believe he considers that something his son and I owe him for.
If your wanting me to get to use a donation for my own needs, you would have to send it to me instead of the go fund me.
Thank you Cindy for your caring thoughts my dear friend.
If your wanting me to get to use a donation for my own needs, you would have to send it to me instead of the go fund me.
Thank you Cindy for your caring thoughts my dear friend.