The latest update about Bill16
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Well it is the start of the hard days for me today. I've ran out of my pain meds early, and so I will have to tuff it out for the next 8 days or so.
Right now I have extreme chest pains from gas, on side note. Different pain issue for sure and makes it hard to breath, but I took something to help ease that pressure eventually. Never works fast enough in my opinion, and it is such a huge relief when it does ease that pressure. I wonder if one day it will turn out to be a heart attack instead of gas, and I think about it every time I get this pain caused by gas.
Anyway pain will be on the menu for the next several days, and I have nobody to blame but myself. Needing pain meds during the night, because I stayed up all night on several occasions left me short. So I just have to tuff it out, and remember the pain so maybe I won't make that same mistake again.lol
Right now I have extreme chest pains from gas, on side note. Different pain issue for sure and makes it hard to breath, but I took something to help ease that pressure eventually. Never works fast enough in my opinion, and it is such a huge relief when it does ease that pressure. I wonder if one day it will turn out to be a heart attack instead of gas, and I think about it every time I get this pain caused by gas.
Anyway pain will be on the menu for the next several days, and I have nobody to blame but myself. Needing pain meds during the night, because I stayed up all night on several occasions left me short. So I just have to tuff it out, and remember the pain so maybe I won't make that same mistake again.lol
Today has been harder than expected without my pain meds, and anxiety meds are no substitute and are of no real help. I'm guessing withdrawals are part of this issue today, and something I will just have to tolerate for a few days until I can call for another prescription.
If you don't need it, I would highly recommend not getting on heavy duty pain meds. It is harder to deal with the pain again after getting use to the pain being lessened with these meds, and it is so easy to run short of these meds from taking more on days when you have extra pain.
If you don't need it, I would highly recommend not getting on heavy duty pain meds. It is harder to deal with the pain again after getting use to the pain being lessened with these meds, and it is so easy to run short of these meds from taking more on days when you have extra pain.
Bill if you can do it get yourself off those pain meds. Over the long term they can cause you real problems. We all have different tolerances to pain. Mine was pretty low, but I seem to have developed a higher threshold over the years.
Four years ago I was prescribed a pretty strong pain killer. It worked, but made me feel dull & empty. I stopped taking them & started going for a therapeutic massage once a week. That has done wonders for my pain. My Doctor now has me take one naproxen in the morning & one in the evening. I still have some pain, but it is manageable. My head is clear & my outlook is good. The only drawback I have is the every 6 months blood work to make sure the naproxen isn't damaging my kidneys.
Take care & all the best....
Four years ago I was prescribed a pretty strong pain killer. It worked, but made me feel dull & empty. I stopped taking them & started going for a therapeutic massage once a week. That has done wonders for my pain. My Doctor now has me take one naproxen in the morning & one in the evening. I still have some pain, but it is manageable. My head is clear & my outlook is good. The only drawback I have is the every 6 months blood work to make sure the naproxen isn't damaging my kidneys.
Take care & all the best....
Well I did another big step towards preparing for my new home. I traded for another game machine, a Xbox 360 with a few games to go with my Wii and PlayStation 2! The big step was trading my rifle, my only gun. They still owe me quite a bit more, but I did this in part to take away my suicide preferences so that maybe I will be more reluctant when I feel that way.
But on a good note these games can help distract my mind at times hopefully giving me another set of options since I spend so much time home alone. I am missing my beloved wife more than I can possibly say, and distractions from that grief now and then helps fight the severe depression. Loneliness will be another issue, that I don't think games will help with. But I talk to my wife as if she is here and sometimes that helps a little.
But on a good note these games can help distract my mind at times hopefully giving me another set of options since I spend so much time home alone. I am missing my beloved wife more than I can possibly say, and distractions from that grief now and then helps fight the severe depression. Loneliness will be another issue, that I don't think games will help with. But I talk to my wife as if she is here and sometimes that helps a little.
Bill, have you ever considered talking to a local priest, preacher, rabbi, etc.? In no way am I forcing "religion" on you, but sometimes these individuals can help you cope, or understand your loss or situation in life. I know my own parish has group meetings for those who have lost love ones and how to cope with being alone. That old saying, "Misery loves company" isn't necessarily a bad thing.........people need people in this life, whether for love or friendship. We are social creatures. Once again, I'm not suggesting that you need religion in your life, but maybe someone there can lend you an ear..........or maybe a great deal more. Sorry if this sounds kind of corny LOL. Hang in there!!
I very much appreciate the suggestion and especially the caring that goes with it!
I am going to both a counselor and a psychiatrist to get some help, and to group therapy too.
As far as I can tell this will take a long time to learn to cope with all the issues I have to deal with. Getting rid of my rifle was a really big step for me, choosing to do without that option is soooo much harder than people might think.
PS these games are kicking my butt so far! Lol Maybe I'm getting too old to progress in these games very fast, and maybe they will last a good long time this way!lol
As long as they don't become too hard to enjoy, I have hopes of plenty of hours of occupying my mind.
I figure with three machines I am bound to find plenty of games an old fart like me can enjoy between Xbox,Wii, and PlayStation 2!
Thank you very much Chris for your caring thoughtful suggestion! I may try a religious counseling to go with the other, if I don't feel I am getting the help I need fast enough to help me live with all my mental problems along with the loss of my beloved wife.
I am going to both a counselor and a psychiatrist to get some help, and to group therapy too.
As far as I can tell this will take a long time to learn to cope with all the issues I have to deal with. Getting rid of my rifle was a really big step for me, choosing to do without that option is soooo much harder than people might think.
PS these games are kicking my butt so far! Lol Maybe I'm getting too old to progress in these games very fast, and maybe they will last a good long time this way!lol
As long as they don't become too hard to enjoy, I have hopes of plenty of hours of occupying my mind.
I figure with three machines I am bound to find plenty of games an old fart like me can enjoy between Xbox,Wii, and PlayStation 2!
Thank you very much Chris for your caring thoughtful suggestion! I may try a religious counseling to go with the other, if I don't feel I am getting the help I need fast enough to help me live with all my mental problems along with the loss of my beloved wife.
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Thank God I was able to get my pain meds today, and they seem to be helping. Going without was much harder this time, if that was the cause of my feeling so bad. But I sure plan on being more careful not to run short again if I can help it.
Quitting these meds are not something I can see doing, not without something to fill that pain need in it's place. Though nothing is written in stone, and there may come a time the help is less than the negatives. Just not yet.
Quitting these meds are not something I can see doing, not without something to fill that pain need in it's place. Though nothing is written in stone, and there may come a time the help is less than the negatives. Just not yet.
Well there will be no photos from me for a while. I put my prized Nikon's in my backpacks to protect them, and I am wishing I had two padded tripod cases for my awesome tripods. I guess I will just have to take extra care when moving them, and extra care not to knock them over or do something else damaging.
Today has been a better day, so I guess my meds do make a big difference.
I picked out another piece of furniture that I want to take with me when I move! It has a cool style of a half round with drawers and two side cubbords. It seems very well made as it is built better than another similar piece of furniture shaped the same.
Well the waiting to move will soon be over, as the 3rd of May draws closer daily. Then I can start the big job of moving, with the help of a couple good friends.
I am doing better today mentally too. I don't feel like I'm about to climb out of my skin, like I had the last few days. It is such a relief to be able to take a relaxing breath and actually relax a little.
I hope you all are doing well my friends.
Today has been a better day, so I guess my meds do make a big difference.
I picked out another piece of furniture that I want to take with me when I move! It has a cool style of a half round with drawers and two side cubbords. It seems very well made as it is built better than another similar piece of furniture shaped the same.
Well the waiting to move will soon be over, as the 3rd of May draws closer daily. Then I can start the big job of moving, with the help of a couple good friends.
I am doing better today mentally too. I don't feel like I'm about to climb out of my skin, like I had the last few days. It is such a relief to be able to take a relaxing breath and actually relax a little.
I hope you all are doing well my friends.
Thanks buddy! I figure to get the basic move done fairly quick, but I figure to take my time in making sure I have all I want/need from here before I am finished moving.
I think it will likely be a month before I finish moving, so I make sure I have everything from here that I want in my new apartment. But I suppose I could be wrong in how long it will take. I can't keep too much stuff anyway, though I don't want to miss out on something important is all.
But I sure am impatient to get started in this moving, and getting started in my new home.lol
I think it will likely be a month before I finish moving, so I make sure I have everything from here that I want in my new apartment. But I suppose I could be wrong in how long it will take. I can't keep too much stuff anyway, though I don't want to miss out on something important is all.
But I sure am impatient to get started in this moving, and getting started in my new home.lol
I really wanted to say thank you today to all my friends who read my posts in this thread! You all have been such good friends, not telling me to get lost because I have mental issues! I am truly amazed at having such good friends, trying to help and or comfort me in my time of desperate need! God bless you all!
Today has been a better day, and a true relief from the hard issues I go through at times. When I have enough days like this one, I tend to forget how bad things can be until it hits again. I don't have a clue how I can forget something that bad, but it is like I'm desperate to forget or something. But it always gets bad again, and then my memory of the bad times comes flooding back into my mind.
But today is a good day, and I am very grateful!
Today has been a better day, and a true relief from the hard issues I go through at times. When I have enough days like this one, I tend to forget how bad things can be until it hits again. I don't have a clue how I can forget something that bad, but it is like I'm desperate to forget or something. But it always gets bad again, and then my memory of the bad times comes flooding back into my mind.
But today is a good day, and I am very grateful!
I really wanted to say thank you today to all my friends who read my posts in this thread! You all have been such good friends, not telling me to get lost because I have mental issues! I am truly amazed at having such good friends, trying to help and or comfort me in my time of desperate need! God bless you all!
Today has been a better day, and a true relief from the hard issues I go through at times. When I have enough days like this one, I tend to forget how bad things can be until it hits again. I don't have a clue how I can forget something that bad, but it is like I'm desperate to forget or something. But it always gets bad again, and then my memory of the bad times comes flooding back into my mind.
But today is a good day, and I am very grateful!
I think your feelings are "normal" Bill. Life is full of peaks and valleys. The key is to find that middle spot....and you will. You will eventually find a way to deal with the situation. I'm not saying that there won't be bad days, because you know there will be........but I am saying that you will be able to control your anxiety a bit better. I hope there is a day when you can be "pill free" though...........but baby steps first. Smile......and hang in there!
I spent 45 years without pills, suffering pain and suicidal thoughts all the time. So I never want to go without my pills, as I have been so much better on those needed pills.
My wife talked me into getting mental and physical help, and this has improved my life more than I can properly explain. So please don't worry about my pills, as they are helping keep me alive as was my wife's wish. The pills in this case are a good thing, but I really appreciate your concern.
My wife talked me into getting mental and physical help, and this has improved my life more than I can properly explain. So please don't worry about my pills, as they are helping keep me alive as was my wife's wish. The pills in this case are a good thing, but I really appreciate your concern.
I spent 45 years without pills, suffering pain and suicidal thoughts all the time. So I never want to go without my pills, as I have been so much better on those needed pills.
My wife talked me into getting mental and physical help, and this has improved my life more than I can properly explain. So please don't worry about my pills, as they are helping keep me alive as was my wife's wish. The pills in this case are a good thing, but I really appreciate your concern.
I stand corrected Bill. I was worried about your meds becoming a crutch so to speak......but I understand now
I totally understand my friend.
I stand corrected Bill. I was worried about your meds becoming a crutch so to speak......but I understand now
I didn't want to jinx it so I kept this fortune cookie fortune to myself. A couple months ago my friend bought me Chinese food, and it was really good. Well I couldn't resist checking out the fortune, since I was worried about losing my home.
Here is what it says, as I'm reading it now having saved it!
"You will move to a wonderful new home within the year."
I don't know if it is my new apartment or something different a year from now!lol
But I was and am amazed by this fortune fitting my worries/needs! I may continue to save it.lol
Here is what it says, as I'm reading it now having saved it!
"You will move to a wonderful new home within the year."
I don't know if it is my new apartment or something different a year from now!lol
But I was and am amazed by this fortune fitting my worries/needs! I may continue to save it.lol
Today has been a lonely day. I played a game for a couple hours, and that helped, but only while I played. I wonder everyday how do I learn to do without her, without my beloved wife. Then it always hits me deep inside, that I have no choice.
Typing is slow on my tablet because of my wiping at my tears.
Sorry, some days are really hard.
Typing is slow on my tablet because of my wiping at my tears.
Sorry, some days are really hard.
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