Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
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nikonpup
Senior Member
**"High-Octane Hangover"**
Bud and Jim were two drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics at the Atlanta airport. One foggy afternoon, the airport was completely shut down, leaving them stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud let out a long sigh.
**"Man, I wish we had something to drink."**
Jim scratched his head and said,
**"You know, I heard somewhere that you can drink jet fuel and get a pretty good buzz."**
Bud raised an eyebrow.
**"Seriously? Well… we don’t have anything better to do."**
So, they grabbed a couple of glasses, poured themselves some high-octane jet fuel, toasted to boredom, and got completely hammered.
The next morning, Bud woke up feeling shockingly great—no headache, no hangover, not even the usual regrets. Just as he was marveling at this miracle, his phone rang. It was Jim.
**"Hey man, how do you feel?"** Jim asked.
**"I feel fantastic! No hangover, nothing! How about you?"** Bud replied.
**"Same here! That jet fuel is magic. We should do this more often!"**
**"Absolutely,"** Bud agreed. **"It’s like the perfect drink."**
There was a brief pause on the line.
**"Hey Bud,"** Jim said hesitantly, **"just one thing…"**
**"What’s that?"** Bud asked.
**"Have you farted yet?"**
Bud thought for a second.
**"No… why?"**
Jim’s voice dropped to a panic-stricken whisper.
**"DON’T. I’m in PHOENIX!"**
nikonpup
Senior Member
### **A Game of Confessions**
Four older women sat around a table, playing Bridge, their usual afternoon ritual.
After a brief silence, the first lady sighed and said, *“Since we’re all such close friends, I have a confession to make. I’m a kleptomaniac. But don’t worry—I’ve never taken anything from you, and I never will. Our friendship means too much to me.”*
The second woman nodded and added, *“Well, if we’re being honest, I have something to share too. I’m a nymphomaniac. But don’t worry—I’ve never been interested in your husbands. They’re just not my type, and our friendship is far too valuable.”*
The third lady chuckled and said, *“Alright, my turn. I have a confession as well—I’m a lesbian. But don’t worry, ladies, you’re not my type, and I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship.”*
For a moment, the table fell silent. Then, the fourth woman suddenly pushed back her chair, grinning mischievously.
*“Well, I have a confession too! I’m an uncontrollable gossip… and I have some phone calls to make!”*
Four older women sat around a table, playing Bridge, their usual afternoon ritual.
After a brief silence, the first lady sighed and said, *“Since we’re all such close friends, I have a confession to make. I’m a kleptomaniac. But don’t worry—I’ve never taken anything from you, and I never will. Our friendship means too much to me.”*
The second woman nodded and added, *“Well, if we’re being honest, I have something to share too. I’m a nymphomaniac. But don’t worry—I’ve never been interested in your husbands. They’re just not my type, and our friendship is far too valuable.”*
The third lady chuckled and said, *“Alright, my turn. I have a confession as well—I’m a lesbian. But don’t worry, ladies, you’re not my type, and I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship.”*
For a moment, the table fell silent. Then, the fourth woman suddenly pushed back her chair, grinning mischievously.
*“Well, I have a confession too! I’m an uncontrollable gossip… and I have some phone calls to make!”*