Really awful news has been delivered to my wife and I

hark

hark

Administrator
Staff member
Super Mod
Contributor
Bill16 said:
I have no proof, but I think my wife's son and ex have an agenda. The son Evan has been after things already and specific valuable things. I gave him most of what he asked for, and when I told the truth that some things are no longer here he seemed to disbelieve me.
If my wife's ex wasn't fronting the money for the cremation, I might have gotten cranky and less agreeable with these wants.

The relatives don't wait long before they come after my beloved's treasures.:(
Click to expand...

Did your wife leave a will? Being legally married entitles you to some things, I would think....
 
B

Bill16

Senior Member
No she didn't leave a will. So most should be mine and all. But the cost of cremation is being paid for by her ex, and I don't want to make waves until my wife's funeral stuff is taken care of, and this wants Evan has is being fast after my beloved's death.
I guess I'll just have to play it by ear.
 
hark

hark

Administrator
Staff member
Super Mod
Contributor
You might want to do an online search for a pro bono lawyer in your area. He/She might be able to advise you and guide your interactions.
 
Dawg Pics

Dawg Pics

Senior Member
I second Hark's advice. It is better to wait until you have somebody who can give you some legal advice regarding what people are entitled to. There is no harm in asking people if they wouldn't mind waiting to obtain items since you are in a mourning process. It is just rude of them if nothing else. I have seen these types of actions in person with my family, and it can get ugly quickly. And since you already think there is an agenda then it would be best to have the lawyer.

North Carolina is not a community property state. I don't know about your rights to the house. In Texas, you would be able to keep living in the house. I don't know anything about property transfers. Better to get a lawyer sooner than later.
 
Last edited:
B

Bill16

Senior Member
Being legally married should pass the house over to me, from what some people at the hospital have told me. Being legally married seems to be the big thing as far as rights go in this state from what I've been hearing.

Dawg Pics said:
I second Hark's advice. It is better to wait until you have somebody who can give you some legal advice regarding what people are entitled to. There is no harm in asking people if they wouldn't mind waiting to obtain items since you are in a mourning process. It is just rude of them if nothing else. I have seen these types of actions in person with my family, and it can get ugly quickly.

North Carolina is not a community property state. I don't know about your rights to the house. In Texas, you would be able to keep living in the house.
Click to expand...
 
hark

hark

Administrator
Staff member
Super Mod
Contributor
Bill16 said:
Being legally married should pass the house over to me, from what some people at the hospital have told me. Being legally married seems to be the big thing as far as rights go in this state from what I've been hearing.
Click to expand...

You should still contact a lawyer to be sure. In some states, if there isn't a will, the state wants to cease belongings (houses, etc); however, being legally married should entitle you to certain things. And as her husband, you need to make sure her income tax gets done for both 2015 AND 2016. Again, you really should check with a lawyer--when income tax rolls around next year, you will need certain information to submit for yourself...as well as really good records of who got what. The items her son and ex-husband receive (as well as yourself) might be subject to income tax--if they are even entitled to anything at all.

Allow yourself to mourn and try to hold them off until you have a chance to look into things. It is for your own protection, Bill.
 
B

Bill16

Senior Member
I'm unsure how to file taxes this year without her signature. I will have to call the credit union I guess and ask them, since they do our taxes.



hark said:
You should still contact a lawyer to be sure. In some states, if there isn't a will, the state wants to cease belongings (houses, etc); however, being legally married should entitle you to certain things. And as her husband, you need to make sure her income tax gets done for both 2015 AND 2016. Again, you really should check with a lawyer--when income tax rolls around next year, you will need certain information to submit for yourself...as well as really good records of who got what. The items her son and ex-husband receive (as well as yourself) might be subject to income tax--if they are even entitled to anything at all.

Allow yourself to mourn and try to hold them off until you have a chance to look into things. It is for your own protection, Bill.
Click to expand...
 
Dawg Pics

Dawg Pics

Senior Member
There is more than a good chance that you are only entitled to part of her estate since she did not have a will, and she has a child. There are succession laws that I am sure a lot of people don't know about, and so, they assume you get everything. You can not make any assumptions regarding this.
 
B

Bill16

Senior Member
If so then I am screwed and there isn't much I can do about it. But her son asked if his mom and I were legally married, and seemed a bit deflated when the answer was yes, though he tried to cover the disappointment. So I think I might be alright. Though there is very little I can do about it even if things are bad.:(

Dawg Pics said:
There is more than a good chance that you are only entitled to part of her estate since she did not have a will, and she has a child. There are succession laws that I am sure a lot of people don't know about, and so, they assume you get everything. You can not make any assumptions regarding this.
Click to expand...
 
Dawg Pics

Dawg Pics

Senior Member
Oh Bill,
Don't dispair. You have rights. You just need to consult somebody to know what they are. In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself.
 
B

Blacktop

Senior Member
This is the last thing you need to worry about at a time like this. Unfortunately the cockroaches crawl out of the woodwork at times like these.
 
T

traceyjj

Senior Member
I understand all this greed Bill. My brother didnt visit his mum in almost 20 years, and his wife made it hard for mum to talk to him too (until they found out she was terminally ill). Now she has passed, they are lining up at the house they visited just once, wanting "their share" (mum was still in her bed, waiting for the funeral people to collect her when it all started!) now they are phoning regularly to see if I have sorted out "this" and "that". I have now slowed all the processes right down (I am lucky to be in control of mums estate), but it doesnt help the grieving process, getting called regularly to find out when they are getting their "bit".

Stay strong Bill, I know its not easy, but please try.
Look after YOU, forget the others, but dont let them get away with anything.
 
hark

hark

Administrator
Staff member
Super Mod
Contributor
traceyjj said:
I understand all this greed Bill. My brother didnt visit his mum in almost 20 years, and his wife made it hard for mum to talk to him too (until they found out she was terminally ill). Now she has passed, they are lining up at the house they visited just once, wanting "their share" (mum was still in her bed, waiting for the funeral people to collect her when it all started!) now they are phoning regularly to see if I have sorted out "this" and "that". I have now slowed all the processes right down (I am lucky to be in control of mums estate), but it doesnt help the grieving process, getting called regularly to find out when they are getting their "bit".

Stay strong Bill, I know its not easy, but please try.
Look after YOU, forget the others, but dont let them get away with anything.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear you've been going through that, Tracey. Here in the states, I think they allow 1 year maximum to settle estates. Not sure where you are located.

But in Bill's case, there wasn't a will so technically no one else besides Bill should be entitled to anything unless their names are listed as co-owners of items.
 
T

traceyjj

Senior Member
hark said:
Sorry to hear you've been going through that, Tracey. Here in the states, I think they allow 1 year maximum to settle estates. Not sure where you are located.

But in Bill's case, there wasn't a will so technically no one else besides Bill should be entitled to anything unless their names are listed as co-owners of items.
Click to expand...
I'm in the UK, and there are processes we have to go through, even with a Will (if there is a house involved), apparently that takes up to 3 months! And the estate cant be fully settled until the house is sold, so that could take a good while as mums neighbour was for sale for almost 2 years, and he still didnt sell! I just think that it is so awful that people can be so greedy over things like this, especially at times like this... I wish some people would show some tact and diplomacy, or at least some common decency in the face of a severe loss like that :(
 
B

Bill16

Senior Member
I'll feel safer once I get the house in my name and the car payments figured out. Without my wife's income I have less than a third of what we had to work with together.
 
Top