My biggest challenge, with her, is keeping her eyes open. I easily shot 50 photo's and got four with her eyes open. The rest she looked stoned or were flat closed. To get the few with her eyes opened required her opening her eyes stupid big and I would catch them on the closing blink. She can't keep her eyes open with a flash for nothing.
Guessing, but it seems reasonable. Was that using the Nikon Commander and TTL? Commander seriously causes blinking. It is NOT her, it is most people, and you were lucky to get four.
The easy answer is to use FV Lock. Push the FV Lock button and it does the command flashing and preflashing, and gets the blinking over with, and "Locks" that flash exposure. Then in a couple of seconds, you push the shutter button to to simply do the final flash and take the picture, no blinking. Read the camera manual (FV Lock) and learn about the L shown at bottom left of the view finder to tell you when exposure is locked (it times out with the viewfinder timeout, and becomes unlocked). You need to know that L. You can keep shooting as long as you have the L (locked).
Lighting ratio is a choice, and apparently your choice was to have none. Equal flat lights is the common beginners mistake. There is hardly a trace one of any shadow anywhere in your picture (I am speaking of the pleasing gradient tonal shading on the face - there is none). Such shadow gradient toning is intentional to show shape and adds interest - called lighting ratio.
It would improve your picture artistically if the light on camera left was turned down, at least -1.5 EV. I say left because her face is turned to camera right. This would darken her right cheek, to become "Short Lighting", which would help quite a bit. Equal lights is normally NOT a plus.
Assuming Commander (?), put one light in Group A and one in B, so they can be controlled individually. Then in Commander menu, set compensation for the one group on camera left to -1.5. Maybe -2 EV. This depends on spill. If using shoot-through umbrella, tremendous room spill, and maybe -3 EV. I would use reflected white umbrellas, up close (Technically, the fill light goes back very near the lens axis, often behind and above the camera). If in a large room with distant walls and little spill coming back, then less ratio holds accurate, maybe -1.5 EV, but spill weakens ratio.