Horrific story regarding someone I went to high school with

Although I haven't seen the girl in 10 years, I still remember, vividly, details about her personality and how happy she always was. She laughed about everything. Anyone that knew her would tell you the same thing. She was always smiling.

I learned last week that she killed her husband, her dogs, and herself with her husband's pistol. There were absolutely no signs of anything being wrong, let alone a reason to commit such a horrific crime. No one can believe she did it. A week before she graduated nursing school, and made a picture of her and her husband at her graduation her profile picture on Facebook. Sadly, this is the picture that newspapers used.

My Facebook feed blew up for about a week. I find this new kind of morbid social interaction disturbing in itself. People were posting goodbyes and memories all over their walls, and newspapers were even contacting those posters for comments. Facebook was then silent after autopsy's confirmed that she was the shooter on the day of their funerals. Everyone seemed to be lost for words for the the person they thought they knew so well. Some still refuse to believe she did it, and for good reason.

I'm upset that someone I saw on a daily basis at one point in my life is gone, but I'm probably more upset that something like this can even happen. Coincidentally enough, this is the second suicide death within 2 weeks from someone I graduated high school with. When things like this happen, you evaluate the world a little differently, and look for answers. Was she secretly insane? Did he hurt her somehow? Unfortunately with this there aren't a lot of answers to be found.

An initial article: Couple found dead in Laurel Lake home | The Daily Journal | thedailyjournal.com

The latest news article: Authorities confirm Laurel Lake deaths a murder-suicide | NJ.com

It is hard enough to get over the loss of someone close to you but when it is such a horrific way there are just no words that can describe how you feel. All I can say is what is this world coming to.

My husband lost a cousin 2 days before christmas back in 2006 leaving his wife and 2 young children. He was beaten and kicked by 4 teenagers after walking a friend home. The only reason the police managed to catch the people was that the girl that was with them had video taped it on her phone.

I am so sorry John. I know it's very shocking when it's someone you know. Lots of questions with no answers. John I really feel for you, take care my friend.

Sam

This is horrible, very sad news indeed JDEG. I do know how you feel though. When i was still living at home, i had a job at a local restaurant and i worked with a younger kid. When you looked at this kid, you would think he would never hurt a fly, let alone himself. One day i showed up for work on the weekend during the school year and i asked where the kid was. I was told that he had hung himself in his closet. His house was right behind the restaurant funny enough, so it just made it worse. He was such a nice kid and we worked well together. It was a huge shock to me. Every time i went to work and saw his house, i just forze for a few seconds, thinking how a young kid could do that to himself. It just shows you that you really don't know people.

Pretty sad story, John. Thanks for sharing. It's hard enough to lose someone from natural causes, never mind taking their own life and the lives of others. My condolences.

. . . Sorry to hear . . . The irony is that there has been an ongoing thread on this site about gun control.

Thanks everyone. And thanks to those who shared their stories.

I'm torn about how I feel about people that commit suicide:
- On one hand I think it's selfish. They are putting others in agony because they can't deal with their problems. Instead of seeking help they think that killing themselves will solve those problems.
- On the other hand they are making a choice to end their lives, and they should have that choice. Maybe in some screwed up way they deserve to die.
- Either way, it's really really selfish to kill others because of your problems.

In this case it just really bothers me that there were no signs of anything being wrong. Obviously it wasn't a mistake, it was planned. Phillydog, I don't really think there's an issue with guns here. If it wasn't a gun then it would've been something else.

jdeg said:

Thanks everyone. And thanks to those who shared their stories.

I'm torn about how I feel about people that commit suicide:
- On one hand I think it's selfish. They are putting others in agony because they can't deal with their problems. Instead of seeking help they think that killing themselves will solve those problems.
- On the other hand they are making a choice to end their lives, and they should have that choice. Maybe in some screwed up way they deserve to die.
- Either way, it's really really selfish to kill others because of your problems.

In this case it just really bothers me that there were no signs of anything being wrong. Obviously it wasn't a mistake, it was planned. Phillydog, I don't really think there's an issue with guns here. If it wasn't a gun then it would've been something else.

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It's deplorable when people take others out before offing themselves. Extremely selfish, as if to say "If I can't enjoy life, neither should you."

Lot's of twisted-ness in the world. But who knows what kind of darkness she was facing. In any case, it's sad all around...

I'm sorry for your loss, too, John, and empathize with you.

Because I worked for several years with Nat Am, where the suicide rate is very high, we had to have a lot of training in suicide intervention. There are signs or signals, most very subtle, but the determining factor of whether we called in a referral to a "suicide watch facility' was if they had a detailed plan. Perhaps what's happening today in this hectic pace is that people just don't take the time to notice or feel that it's none of their business. We're all running in different directions and don't take the time to really LISTEN to and SEE the person other than hi and good bye. If it was a murder-suicide (I read the article), it sounds like she just "snapped" -- from the article it doesn't sound like a long term plan (she graduated, had a job offer, etc.) . . . it sounds like something recently happened to trigger this. And why kill the dogs, too? What ever caused her to cross the line involved the dogs. It's also unusual for women to use a gun for suicide . . . that's not being sexist . . . those are stats from the people who measure the morbid.

The bottom line is that if somebody wants to do themselves in, they'll find a way. It's sad that they no longer see the value in this life, and don't seem to care that they cause grief to the ones who now have to go on without them. But maybe that's part of the problem . . . they just don't feel that they matter enough (and that's an "inside' thing . . . you have to consider yourself worthy enough to be loved) What appalls me is when they take out others.

Sad case all around. We all walk a different path; it's unfortunate that some believe that they have to walk the path alone.