Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
nikonpup
Senior Member
A farmer had five female goats. Times were tough, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male goats. After chatting for a while, they agreed to mate their goats and split the profits 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they decided to drive thirty miles each to find a field where the goats could mate.
On the first morning, the farmer with the female goats woke up at 5 A.M., loaded the goats into his old pickup truck—the only vehicle he had—and drove the thirty miles. While the goats were mating, he asked the other farmer, “How will I know if they’re pregnant?”
The other farmer replied, “If they’re lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they’re pregnant. If they’re in the mud, they’re not.”
The next morning, the goats were playing in the mud. Frustrated, he hosed them off, loaded them back into the pickup truck, and tried again. This routine continued for over a week, and both farmers were exhausted.
Finally, one morning, he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, “Honey, please look outside and tell me if the goats are in the mud or in the grass.”
“Neither!” his wife shouted back. “They’re in the pickup truck, and one of them is honking the horn!”
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male goats. After chatting for a while, they agreed to mate their goats and split the profits 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they decided to drive thirty miles each to find a field where the goats could mate.
On the first morning, the farmer with the female goats woke up at 5 A.M., loaded the goats into his old pickup truck—the only vehicle he had—and drove the thirty miles. While the goats were mating, he asked the other farmer, “How will I know if they’re pregnant?”
The other farmer replied, “If they’re lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they’re pregnant. If they’re in the mud, they’re not.”
The next morning, the goats were playing in the mud. Frustrated, he hosed them off, loaded them back into the pickup truck, and tried again. This routine continued for over a week, and both farmers were exhausted.
Finally, one morning, he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, “Honey, please look outside and tell me if the goats are in the mud or in the grass.”
“Neither!” his wife shouted back. “They’re in the pickup truck, and one of them is honking the horn!”
nikonpup
Senior Member
A preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas .
After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a similar drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too, I didn't know we had that choice."
After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a similar drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too, I didn't know we had that choice."
