Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
Two Men are Drinking in a Bar at the top of the Empire State Building.
One turns to the other and says:-
"You know last week I discovered that if you Jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the Building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."
The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the Bar down.
The 2nd Man says: "What are you, a friggin Nut or something.??? There is no way in Hell that could happen."
1st Man: "No, it's True let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the Bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a One Time Fluke."
1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.
2nd Man: "Well what the heck, it works, I'll try it." So he Jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors and hits the Sidewalk with a great big "SPLAT"..
'
Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other Drinker and says :-
"You know, Superman, you're a complete prick when you're Drunk."
One turns to the other and says:-
"You know last week I discovered that if you Jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the Building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."
The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the Bar down.
The 2nd Man says: "What are you, a friggin Nut or something.??? There is no way in Hell that could happen."
1st Man: "No, it's True let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the Bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a One Time Fluke."
1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.
2nd Man: "Well what the heck, it works, I'll try it." So he Jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors and hits the Sidewalk with a great big "SPLAT"..
'
Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other Drinker and says :-
"You know, Superman, you're a complete prick when you're Drunk."
Having a chat with a bloke over a pint in my local last night.
I discovered he was worth around £4 million and he told me the amazing story of how he became so rich.
Basically, when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell.
He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time.
He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up and then sold it for a profit.
He used the money to buy another and so on.
He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again.
He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years.
Even during the real bad times he plugged away.
He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal.
Then his uncle died and left him £4 million.
I discovered he was worth around £4 million and he told me the amazing story of how he became so rich.
Basically, when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell.
He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time.
He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up and then sold it for a profit.
He used the money to buy another and so on.
He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again.
He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years.
Even during the real bad times he plugged away.
He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal.
Then his uncle died and left him £4 million.
My wife hasn't stopped looking through the window this morning since #StormCiara started.
If it gets much worse I'll probably have to let her in.
If it gets much worse I'll probably have to let her in.