For some time, many of us have wondered just who is JACK SCHITT?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, “You don’t know JACK SCHITT”!
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
JACK SCHITT is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:
Holie Schitt,
Giva Schitt,
Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as NOE SCHITT-SHERLOCK.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Against her parents’ objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens Brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the ‘Schitt-Happen Nuptials.’
The Schitt-Happens children names were:
Dawg Schitt-Happens,
Byrd Schitt-Happens and
Hoarse Schitt-Happens.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, “YOU DON’T KNOW JACK SCHITT,” you can correct them!
By the way, if you were wondering what happened to HOLIE SCHITT, she became a nun!
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
