Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about
their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels
liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so
twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide down
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They
baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now
they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels
liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so
twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide down
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They
baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now
they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries at WalMart the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note so I could complain to our congressman about this running amok Homeland Security crap,
I did just as she had instructed.
After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should position my credit card.
None the less, I've been asked to not shop at WalMart in the future.
They need to make their instructions more clear for senior citizens.
Making a mental note so I could complain to our congressman about this running amok Homeland Security crap,
I did just as she had instructed.
After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should position my credit card.
None the less, I've been asked to not shop at WalMart in the future.
They need to make their instructions more clear for senior citizens.
the selfless irish
the irish never hesitate to come to the aid of their fellow man, air passengers, in this case!
Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening aer lingus flight from dublin to boston,
the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement
in her lovely irish brogue:
"ladies and gentlemen, i'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a
terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this happened,
but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received
only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
when the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued,
"anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat,
will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our 10 hour flight.”
her next announcement came about 2 hours later:
"if anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."
the irish never hesitate to come to the aid of their fellow man, air passengers, in this case!
Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening aer lingus flight from dublin to boston,
the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement
in her lovely irish brogue:
"ladies and gentlemen, i'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a
terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this happened,
but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received
only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
when the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued,
"anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat,
will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our 10 hour flight.”
her next announcement came about 2 hours later:
"if anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."
I decided to try a nationwide franchise haircut place. I called to make an appt and they told me it was easier to make an appt online. So I register online, then verify my email, find my store location and finally make my appt. Getting a haircut these days just isn't cut and dry anymore.