Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
nikonpup
Senior Member
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer’s clinic. “Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know anything about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get an easy $1,000.
So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic
This is what happened.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aagh! This is gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and leaves in a haste. He’s angry now, and spends the next few days trying to figure out a way to recover his money. He returns to Dr. Geezer’s office once he thinks of a clever plan…
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh no you don’t. That is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young, after having lost $1000 total, leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see!”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so… Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr. Young: “But this is only $500…”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer “
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know anything about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get an easy $1,000.
So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic
This is what happened.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aagh! This is gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and leaves in a haste. He’s angry now, and spends the next few days trying to figure out a way to recover his money. He returns to Dr. Geezer’s office once he thinks of a clever plan…
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh no you don’t. That is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young, after having lost $1000 total, leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see!”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so… Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr. Young: “But this is only $500…”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer “
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
I managed over 100 ! hour film labs over the years. The parking lot ones were gone by then.,
nikonpup
Senior Member
WALKING THE DOG
A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. People would say, “What a peaceful and loving couple.”
On this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
“Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes back to our honeymoon.
“We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.
“We hadn’t gone too much farther when my wife Ruth’s mule stumbled and she almost fell off. Ruth quietly said, ‘That’s once.’
“We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke: ‘That’s twice.’
“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. Ruth promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead.
“I SHOUTED at her, ‘What’s wrong with you, woman?! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?’
“Ruth looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ “
Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. People would say, “What a peaceful and loving couple.”
On this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
“Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes back to our honeymoon.
“We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.
“We hadn’t gone too much farther when my wife Ruth’s mule stumbled and she almost fell off. Ruth quietly said, ‘That’s once.’
“We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke: ‘That’s twice.’
“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. Ruth promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead.
“I SHOUTED at her, ‘What’s wrong with you, woman?! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?’
“Ruth looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ “
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
Don, aren't they really called white and gray birds?
We call them Sea Pigeons!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
Don Kuykendall_RIP
RIP :(
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
