Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

nikonpup

Senior Member
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grandpaw

Senior Member
GOT MY CONCEALED CARRY PERMIT YESTERDAY
Yesterday afternoon I went to our local gun shop to get a small handgun for personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did as she instructed.
After the hysterical shrieking stopped, I learned that she was telling me how to place my credit card in the card reader.

I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.

I still don't think I looked that bad.
 

480sparky

Senior Member
Midge and Earl were at home late one afternoon, getting all gussied up to go out and celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. Suddenly, Midge just stopped what she was doing and said, "Earl, I have a question for you."

"Yes, Midge, what is it?" he replied.

"If I died before you, would you ever remarry?" Midge asked.

Early was dumbfounded. "Why on earth did you think of that? What a morbid thing to say. Here we are, getting ready to go celebrate a quarter-century together, and you bring something like this up!?!?"

Midge replied, "But Earl, there's no guarantees in life. Something might happen to me and I'd be taken from you. I just wanted to know if you'd ever consider marrying someone else."

Earl tried to evade the question, but Midge was relentless. Finally, Earl thought that if he gave her an answer, the subject would be dropped. "Yes, Midge, I probably would."

Midge then asked, "Would you sell the house?"

Earl was flabbergasted. "Now why on earth would I sell the house. It's a great house, it's in a nice neighborhood.... there's no compelling reason I'd sell the house."

Midge was on a mission. "Would you sleep in our bed?"

Earl couldn't believe it. "For what reason would I not? It's a comfortable bed. I think you're going way too far here. NO, I WOULD NOT GET RID OF THE BED."

But Midge was not done. "Would she use my golf clubs?"

Earl had had enough. "No, she wouldn't." was his reply. "She's left-handed."
 

JH Foto

Senior Member
A cop accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He learned to never book a judge by their cover.
 
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