Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
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nikonpup
Senior Member
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A blonde woman was driving about two hours outside of San Diego when she noticed a man waving her down on the side of the road. His truck had broken down, and as she pulled over, he approached her car.
"Are you heading to San Diego?" he asked.
"Sure am!" she replied. "Do you need a ride?"
"Not for me," the man said. "I'll be here fixing my truck for a while. But I have two chimpanzees in the back, and they need to get to the San Diego Zoo. They're already stressed, and I don’t want them stuck on the road all day. Would you mind taking them for me? I'll even give you $200 for the trouble."
"Of course!" the blonde said cheerfully.
The man helped secure the two chimpanzees in her back seat, made sure they were comfortable, and sent them on their way.
Several hours later, as he finally made it into San Diego, the truck driver was stunned by what he saw—there was the blonde, walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, while a crowd gathered around, laughing and snapping pictures.
Slamming on his brakes, he jumped out of his truck and ran up to her.
"What on earth are you doing?" he exclaimed. "I gave you $200 to take them to the zoo!"
"I did take them to the zoo," she said with a smile. "But we had some money left over, so now we're headed to SeaWorld!"
A blonde woman was driving about two hours outside of San Diego when she noticed a man waving her down on the side of the road. His truck had broken down, and as she pulled over, he approached her car.
"Are you heading to San Diego?" he asked.
"Sure am!" she replied. "Do you need a ride?"
"Not for me," the man said. "I'll be here fixing my truck for a while. But I have two chimpanzees in the back, and they need to get to the San Diego Zoo. They're already stressed, and I don’t want them stuck on the road all day. Would you mind taking them for me? I'll even give you $200 for the trouble."
"Of course!" the blonde said cheerfully.
The man helped secure the two chimpanzees in her back seat, made sure they were comfortable, and sent them on their way.
Several hours later, as he finally made it into San Diego, the truck driver was stunned by what he saw—there was the blonde, walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, while a crowd gathered around, laughing and snapping pictures.
Slamming on his brakes, he jumped out of his truck and ran up to her.
"What on earth are you doing?" he exclaimed. "I gave you $200 to take them to the zoo!"
"I did take them to the zoo," she said with a smile. "But we had some money left over, so now we're headed to SeaWorld!"
nikonpup
Senior Member
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A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and headed to the checkout counter. The cashier looked at her and said, "I’m sorry, but we can’t sell you cat food without proof that you actually have a cat. Management says some elderly people buy it to eat, so we need to make sure it’s for your pet."
Frustrated, the little old lady went home, grabbed her cat, and brought it back to the store. Satisfied, the cashier sold her the cat food.
The next day, she returned to buy two cans of dog food. Again, the cashier stopped her. "I’m sorry, but we can’t sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. Management has the same concerns about dog food."
Annoyed but determined, the little old lady went home, brought her dog back to the store, and was finally allowed to buy the dog food.
On the third day, she came back carrying a small box with a hole in the lid. She approached the same cashier and said, "Stick your finger in this hole."
The cashier hesitated. "No way! What if there’s a snake or something dangerous in there?"
The little old lady reassured her. "I promise, there’s nothing in this box that can hurt you."
Reluctantly, the cashier stuck her finger into the hole, then quickly pulled it back out, wrinkling her nose. "That smells like crap!" she exclaimed.
The little old lady smiled. "It is. Now, I’d like to buy three rolls of toilet paper."
Moral of the story: Don’t mess with old people.