Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
- Thread starter TedG954
- Start date
Bikerbrent_RIP
Senior Member
One of my older access area document!!
Clovishound
Senior Member
To all employees:
Effective immediately, ALL employees making deliveries to the Mount Doom sector MUST wear level 5 hand protection. NO EXCEPTIONS. We simply can't afford any more major injuries. Your cooperation in this matter is appreciated.
On a more cheerful note, starting next month we will have Manflesh Mondays in the company cafeteria. To allay fears of our human employees, it is actually salt pork, which is reported to be particularly tasty, but our Uruk Hai employees love it, and appreciate our efforts at their inclusion.
Management would also like to take this opportunity to wish all employees a happy and safe holiday season.
Yours,
Gandalf
Chief Executive Wizard, Middle Earth Enterprises
Effective immediately, ALL employees making deliveries to the Mount Doom sector MUST wear level 5 hand protection. NO EXCEPTIONS. We simply can't afford any more major injuries. Your cooperation in this matter is appreciated.
On a more cheerful note, starting next month we will have Manflesh Mondays in the company cafeteria. To allay fears of our human employees, it is actually salt pork, which is reported to be particularly tasty, but our Uruk Hai employees love it, and appreciate our efforts at their inclusion.
Management would also like to take this opportunity to wish all employees a happy and safe holiday season.
Yours,
Gandalf
Chief Executive Wizard, Middle Earth Enterprises
Clovishound
Senior Member
To all employees,
This is to put everyone on notice that unauthorized usage of a palantir will result in summary dismissal. There has been one recent unauthorized usage that nearly ended in disaster. The individual has been disciplined, but due to the high stakes involved, any more infractions will be treated very severely.
It has also come to our attention that some employees are smoking Longbottom leaf in non-smoking areas. We all love a good pipe from time to time during the day, but this must be limited to authorized breaks and areas.
As most of you know, one of our own, Aragorn, has been promoted from Ranger to King of Gondor. I'm sure we all wish him the best for this well deserved promotion, and look forward to working with him in his new capacity. We will allow all non essential personnel time off to attend his coronation. I would like to thank those who volunteered to work as a skeleton crew during the coronation so that others would have the opportunity to attend.
Yours,
Gandalf
Chief Executive Wizard, Middle Earth Enterprises
This is to put everyone on notice that unauthorized usage of a palantir will result in summary dismissal. There has been one recent unauthorized usage that nearly ended in disaster. The individual has been disciplined, but due to the high stakes involved, any more infractions will be treated very severely.
It has also come to our attention that some employees are smoking Longbottom leaf in non-smoking areas. We all love a good pipe from time to time during the day, but this must be limited to authorized breaks and areas.
As most of you know, one of our own, Aragorn, has been promoted from Ranger to King of Gondor. I'm sure we all wish him the best for this well deserved promotion, and look forward to working with him in his new capacity. We will allow all non essential personnel time off to attend his coronation. I would like to thank those who volunteered to work as a skeleton crew during the coronation so that others would have the opportunity to attend.
Yours,
Gandalf
Chief Executive Wizard, Middle Earth Enterprises
