I have recently graduated from a correspondence course where I majored in Ken Rockwell translation.  This very special course is only available to Fan Club of Ken Rockwell (FCKR) members, a national organization of KR fans, of which I am a founding member. 
As a courtesy to my fellow Nikonites, I will now translate a recent entry on KR's blog, his totally unbiased review of the Nikon SB-700 speedlight:
[SIZE=+1]I'm quoted in the San Diego Daily Transcript[/SIZE]
       I had a call from a writer who was reviewing the [click here to send me money], and here is [or you can click here to send me some].
        
       [SIZE=+1]Use a better camera![/SIZE]
       Want better pictures? Want to stand out from the noise? Then use a better camera! 
 [This guy, who isn't as important as me] uses his [click here to buy an iPhone, and support my growing family].
[This is where I contradict myself above and link to my article titled "It's not the camera"].
[Just in case you missed the other opportunities to send me money, click here].  [Or here].
               Sure, a [buy stuff here, I do] or [click here for one of my awesome reviews] is great for hobbyists, but for pros making a difference while working under deadlines or hails of bullets, go [last chance to buy an iPhone and send me money].