The Decorum of a Forum

I've been on this forum since it started back in 2010. I like it as much today as I did then because of the atmosphere and the many members who genuinely care about one another. That's what makes this place a community, and not just another forum.

There are many forums out there. Some are rigid with very little deviation from the rules, others are poorly organized "free-for-alls." Nikonites tries to balance freedom and friendly atmosphere with expectations for respectful behavior.

Sadly, internet behavior seems to mirror the lack of etiquette and common courtesy that is increasingly prevalent in our society today, and it's especially true on forums.

Some time ago here we had a discussion about civility and one of our members made an astute analogy to a dinner party. I think it's worthy of an elaboration so that everyone has an idea of what sometimes goes on behind the scenes.

If you think of this forum, Nikonites, as a "dinner/banquet", JDEG, as the administrator/owner of the forum, is the host of the banquet. Each of us mods is here to make sure that all the guests are having a pleasant experience since he can't be everywhere at the same time. But he sets the tone for the dinner party . . . civility and good manners, sharing and fun, joking as long as it's not offensive, and respectable behavior. Being a mod has nothing to do with power, and everything to do with being a participant in this "dinner party." I, personally, don't want to be at a dinner where guests are allowed to double-dip, pick their noses at the table, burp, fart or sneeze while going through the buffet, or use their fingers (which could have been in their noses or worse!) to rummage through a dish to pick out a tasty morsel as they then pass the dish to next person. A host with any class would care too much about his guests to expose them to such behavior.

While everyone is invited and welcome, some guests in the past have been asked to leave the Nikonites "dinner party" because of a persistent lack of decorum, despite the efforts of the host or hostess to privately correct the behavior.

· comes with no food to contribute to the dinner but goes around and criticizes every other dish on the buffet and berates all cooks except himself. Continues to declare how the world thinks he is a fabulous chef and refers to his many cook books that seem to be non-existent, or at least invisible.

· repeatedly shows up drunk at the dinners, makes incoherent comments and stalks other members until they never return to the dinner party.

· attends three dinner parties and then proceeds to tell the host that he's doing it all wrong. Insists via ultimatums that things be done his way.

· "double-dips" in the salsa (takes a bite of a chip and then dips it back in the salsa). When asked by the host or hostess to not do that, responds with "You're kidding, right? Get a life!"

· Attends every dinner party, deliberately brings food that doesn't fit with the theme of the menu which the host graciously overlooks, interrupts private conversations, and meanwhile hosts and recruits for his own "bar party" (where any kind of behavior goes) just so he can trash the dinner party he just came from and where he was a welcomed guest.

Most of the attempts to ameliorate the offensive behavior takes place behind the scenes . . . the hosts and hostesses try to shield the other dinner guests. Eventually, the offending guests are asked to leave so that the other guests can continue to have a nice experience at the Nikonites "dinner party."

So, thank you to the 99 percent of our members who are gracious at our "dinner party", bring a food dish to share and engage in cordial conversations with the other guests without buying into the drama of the trolls or "forum sociopaths." Your classy behavior keeps our "dinner party" a happy and wholesome experience.

A little bit of class and decorum go a long way. . . not because we're trying to be "high class snobs," but because of respect for one another, and the belief that there is a place where simple courtesy is still valued and appreciated. It would behoove us all to remember that we are guests, not just at the Nikonites forum, but on this planet. Maybe the world would be in better shape if we did.

well said! Now lets get some more of that bacon wrapped shrimp...

Have to admit not been here long but find it very friendly,i do belong one other 2D photography forum but i stopped going on because there only interest seams to be the more expensive lenses and one upmanship on how many hairs you can count on a picture of a flys leg.
We would all possibly like to spend thousands on lenses and cameras but the majority of members here realise its not possible for most photographers,its the joy of catching that moment that matters.

mike

I love this dinner party, now when do we eat!!! ????

Kidding of course, great place and great perspective you added to things!

Pat in NH

Whoever is playing footsie with me underneath the table, stop! lol Other than that, i will keep my table manners as long as everyone else does

Well, the only other option is to go run to the Principal. I never ran to the Principal in high school, i dealt with problems by myself and still do. Though, around here, i will make an exception and perhaps knock on the Principals door once in a while

I was trying to drink something when I read "guests are allowed to double-dip, pick their noses at the table, burp, fart or sneeze while going through the buffet" Now I have to go clean my laptop.

Very well written and echos how I think most people feel around here. I know that I do.

AC016;bt1290 said:

Well, the only other option is to go run to the Principal. I never ran to the Principal in high school, i dealt with problems by myself and still do. Though, around here, i will make an exception and perhaps knock on the Principals door once in a while

Click to expand...

I understand, and your efforts to change "old habits", at least once in a while, is much appreciated.

Hear, here! I could not have said it better myself.

well said, a friendly and helpful forum, proud to be a part of it

Very well said .

Brilliant analogy --- a dinner party. Well done, Helene!

Honestly, this is the nicest group of people I've ever come across on a forum, any type of forum, and it is a priviledge to be here, and to learn from such a dedicated group of Nikon enthusiasts.

As logic & statistics show, the larger a board grows, the more diverse it gets as lots of people with varying thought processes express their opinions in their own styles.
Some may like it, some may not but it is important for members to be able to draw the line someplace.

From my brief stint here (i am not a member anywhere else, this was the first forum i joined & have never felt a need to look elsewhere), this definitely resembles a world that we wish we lived in....
Where everyone is happy to help others & there is always more than one helping hand.
no sarcastic belittling comments (at least not all that many ), no personal remarks, no one trying to put another down or no one trying to prove they are better than the other.

BUT, i believe that every member here, at least the senior ones to really take it upon themselves to try to maintain this culture for future members to join, learn & enjoy as we have and make sure that this place remains the way it is, even if one day this forum grows to a million members or more (that would be good, wouldn't it JDEG )

I have to get more involved in here. Well, at least read more of the blogs. Then maybe I can keep up with everything. I have learned from an early age that fighting and yelling isn't the way to go.( One reason I don't remark on them in here unless I'm joking about the situation) I have always either turned the other cheek or just walked away. In here all I have to do is ignore or block.
As for Helene's dinner party analogy I would be the one late to the dinner due to a long work day. But , would still bring the desert or more drinks. whichever is needed. I am looking for a quiet conversation or some laughter after that long day not a fight or argument. ( I get that enough at work)

Well said, OHK. I'm a member of five forums including this one (the others are for my car, my fiancee's car, my motorcycle, and my profession), and the well-moderated forums are the most enjoyable and useful by a long shot. (Especially among the vehicle forums... we're lucky that most photographers here aren't 17 years old with a chip on their shoulder.) Keep up the good work, I like it here.