I have the 105 VR micro. great lens. expensive. IQ thats even better than this for much less money...the Tokina 100mm 2.8. extremely well made, very fast AF. close to half the Nikon VR lens in price. NO VR though. I hardly use VR on mine. hardly
when I was looking for Macro lens (basically for portraits and ring shots. or makeup pictures of the brides eyes) it was between
-Nikon 105 AFD (3rd on my list) a bit slow in AF and non rounded blades is distracting and noticeable in pics, which put it in 3rd place
-Nikon 105 VR AFS (1st on my list) the best for bokeh quality but not as sharp wide open as the Tokina. hood gets worn out quickly and doesnt mount as tight after prolonged mounting unmounting.
-Tokina 100mm (2nd on my list) no VR
IF id need it. I would have no issue going for the Tokina if I had to make a decision to buy again. 9 bladed straight blades though. IQ is amazing.
others to consider
Tamron 90mm 2.8-seems like a nice lens but the 90mm focal length is similar to the 85mm 1.8 prime I have so shame to go with that
sigma 105. I owned the EX version years back. soft wide open and at F4 was useable. the new OS version should be better but the stabilizing system is noisy by reviews.
personally, if I was in your situation, id go for the 85mm 1.8g which is a great portrait lens and buy an extension tube set
for AF which isnt necessary and a lot more money
Genuine Kenko Automatic Extension Tube Set DG for Nikon AF | eBay
or a simple set that works fine
AF Auto Focus Macro Extension Tube Set L8E for Nikon | eBay
because 85 will act more like 127mm and thats nice for portraits, and yes its not able to naturally focus so close but it isnt relevant for macro since I manually focus anyway as the depth of field is so shallow and you need to be precise. Af is just not useable and will drive her crazy. macro is only done with manual focusing. macro isnt exactly a fast action. you need time to do macro shots.
i
besides the tamron, all of them may be a bit too tight on a DX.