I have a D3000 and the same 55-200mm zoom lens. My lens is NOT the VR version. I also have a D7000 which I love, too. I love the D3000 as a daily carry around camera with that lens. I am able to put it in my purse so it is always ready.
Softness with this lens is something I have experienced also. It is not the lens, but the operator. Be sure you are using a fast enough shutter speed, at least 1/200 or faster. For most of my daytime shots, I have a lot of success with using that shutter speed or faster, and I have the ISO set at 200. I would also suggest that, if possible, use some additional support to limit the amount of camera shake. You'd be surprised how a few things like that can make your photos go from "just okay" to very sharp and crisp. I have taken a lot of really nice photos with my D3000 over the past 3+ years.