I thought I was ready

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traceyjj

Senior Member
I am really struggling to know how to write this (especially after reading Bills post ).

My mum lost her battle with cancer on Sunday. She was a very strong and brave woman and continued to fight almost to the very end... and that spirit gave us one last Christmas with her, and as heartbreaking as it was, time for all her family to come and say their own private goodbye's,

I honestly thought I had prepared myself for this as we knew that it was coming but now I know I was no where near prepared. I am just so thankful that she finally went peacefully in her sleep.

As the fog will hopefully soon start to lift, I hope that life will start to get back on track once again, I will miss her so much as she was a huge part of our family.
 
M

mikew_RIP

Senior Member
Sorry to hear the news Tracy,dealing with a loss is a very personnel thing and different for different people,often what holds us back after the loss is the feeling we shouldn't be enjoying ourselves,the realization that every thing moves on and we still love the one we loved so much happens but can only happen when you are ready.

Take care and take small steps back into the now,they are easier.
 
D

Don Kuykendall_RIP

RIP :(
I am so sorry to hear that. I can honestly say I know how you feel. My mom died on 05 Jan 2014. We were not expecting her to leave us at that time. The entire family with the exception of my Sister are spread out all over the country but everyone of us were there for Christmas before she died. Many had just flown back home and had to turn around and come right back.

I still miss here every day and I am sure you will miss your mom. It does get a little easier as time goes by. It helps me a little to know my mom was 87 years old and for the last few years she was in failing health and her quality of life had really not been as she wanted. What I do is try to remember all the good things about my mom and to try and remember just the happy things.

Take your time and do what you need to do to get back to where your mom would want you to be.
 
W

weebee

Senior Member
I'm very sorry to hear this. I, too, can understand how you feel. My step father passed from cancer August 2012 As Don said. It does get easier over time.
 
Danno_RIP

Danno_RIP

Senior Member
I am sorry for your loss. We never are really ready. Dad died from cancer in the fall of 2012 and I still catch myself thinking I should give him a call if I see something we enjoyed together or if I buy something that he would appreciate. The best memories have a way of lingering. Some that you have not thought of in years... and that is nice.

As I write this I remember a January motorcycle ride with Dad, I must have been 13 or 14 riding on the back tucked in behind him freezing... we rode to far and got to cold, but had a blast laughing about it as we ate lunch in this little diner. The ride back was just as brutal, but it gave us both a war story. Remember those moments...
 
Marilynne

Marilynne

Administrator
Staff member
Super Mod
Contributor
Sorry to hear about your mother Tracey. Like others have said, take your time and remember the good things. We'll keep you and your family in our prayers.
 
Marcel

Marcel

Happily retired
Staff member
Super Mod
My sincere condolences Tracy. The lost of a loved one is never easy to live. Sometimes it gets confusing between the pain of loosing them and the relief to know they are not suffering anymore. But some things can't be changed and even when acceptation takes time, it's the only sensible thing to do. Easier said then done though...

So I hope time will help you heal and diminish the pain and hopefully, sooner than later, she will have a happy place in your memories since memories allow loved ones to stay close to us as long as we let them.

One day at a time.
 
hark

hark

Administrator
Staff member
Super Mod
Contributor
It is never easy to lose someone we love, and it is certainly is understandable that you weren't ready for such a change in your life. Nothing can truly prepare us even when we know it is inevitable. When it is someone who means so much to us, there is always a void left behind. :(

I don't want to get preachy, but I hope you have some type of belief in God, Source, or a Higher Intelligence. For my beliefs, it helps to know the loved one is pain-free and that I will one day see him/her again. My heart goes out to you as you embark on this stretch of your life without her. May you find comfort in knowing she loved you.
 
S

SteveL54

Senior Member
Condolences to you and your family, Tracy. I can only echo what the others have said, you can never fully prepare yourself for this. Nobody can understand what it feels like until it happens. Unfortunately, nearly all of us have to go through this. It's the price we pay.
Remember the good times that you enjoyed with her.
You have a large support group here if you need it.
 
C

C. Hand

Senior Member
I am very sorry. Cancer sucks, whether you survive it or it takes you, it sucks! My prayers are with you, not only today, but as time passes.
 
cwgrizz

cwgrizz

Senior Member
Challenge Team
It is always sad to hear of someone losing a loved one. As has been stated, I don't think we are ever ready or totally prepared for this. Praying for you and your family to be able to take the time needed to get through this. Nothing can remove them from your heart.
 
Dawg Pics

Dawg Pics

Senior Member
I am sorry you are going through this loss.
It is a difficult process, but no matter what you feel on each day, no feeling is a wrong feeing, and everybody grieves differently. There will be a day when you don't feel so bad, and you laugh or smile because of a good memory. That is healing, and there is no required time frame for this to happen.
 
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donaldjledet

Senior Member
Condolences to your family. I lost my mom to cancer way back in June of 1959.
I was just seven yrs old.Lost my dad last May in 2015.
He was 95 years old.So lots of memories there. And still today I. Think of him and mom and talk everyday.
 
D

dh photography

Senior Member
I am very sorry to hear that, Tracey. I don't think knowing something like that is coming can ever really make it easier in the end. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
 
K

Krs_2007

Senior Member
Sorry for your loss Tracey. I don't think anyone can be prepared for it, you learn to cope with the situation. I wasn't very close to my Dad, his choice, but it took me a long time to get over his loss. Mostly due to conversations that should of been and such. It was very quick, always knew it would happen he was an alcoholic and drank all day. I thought I would be ready for that day and it proved to be hard. It was 02/24/2010, so almost 5 years and I still have moments that get to me. Just know that time heals and only you can prevent the fading memories. Take some time and be with your family, it really helps to lean on them.

Prayers are with you and your family.


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