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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="nikonpup" data-source="post: 646037" data-attributes="member: 9922"><p>[FONT=&quot] <p style="margin-left: 20px"> [FONT=&quot] <span style="color: #9C005C">How to tell if someone is a Republican, a Democrat, or just a Southerner Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? </span><span style="color: #9C005C">This little test will help you decide:</span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> <span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"> <span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">carrying a Kimber 1911 chambered in .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">******************************</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Democrat's Answer:</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">1911 and what does .45 ACP mean?</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">attack?</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">hand? What does the law say about this situation?</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">to my children?</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">consensus. This is all so confusing!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">******************************</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Republican's Answer:</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">******************************</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Southerner's Answer:</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG! BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Click...</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">(Sounds of reloading)</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">BANG!</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Click.</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Speer Gold Dots or Federal</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Premium hollow points?!"</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><span style="color: #9C005C"></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"> <span style="color: #9C005C">Wife: "You are <strong>NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!"</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><strong> </strong></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><strong></strong></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"><strong></strong></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><span style="font-family: 'HelveticaNeue'"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">[/FONT]</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p><p></p><p>[/FONT]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nikonpup, post: 646037, member: 9922"] [FONT="] [INDENT] [FONT="] [COLOR=#9C005C]How to tell if someone is a Republican, a Democrat, or just a Southerner Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? [/COLOR][COLOR=#9C005C]This little test will help you decide:[/COLOR] [FONT=times new roman] [FONT=HelveticaNeue] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]carrying a Kimber 1911 chambered in .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]****************************** [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Democrat's Answer: [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]1911 and what does .45 ACP mean? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]attack? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]hand? What does the law say about this situation? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]to my children? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]consensus. This is all so confusing! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]****************************** [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Republican's Answer: [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]****************************** [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Southerner's Answer: [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Click... [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C](Sounds of reloading) [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]BANG! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Click. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Speer Gold Dots or Federal [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Premium hollow points?!" [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#9C005C]Wife: "You are [B]NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!"[/B][/COLOR] [B] [/B] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/INDENT] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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