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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="RocketCowboy" data-source="post: 632419" data-attributes="member: 25095"><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Brilliant Advice from a Chinese Doctor... Love this guy! Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'"> A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'"> A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: Is chocolate bad for me? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: Is swimming good for your figure? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #444444"><span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RocketCowboy, post: 632419, member: 25095"] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Brilliant Advice from a Chinese Doctor... Love this guy! Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system] A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up![/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system] A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: Is chocolate bad for me? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around![/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: Is swimming good for your figure? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]A: Hey! 'Round' is shape![/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=-apple-system]Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.[/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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