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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="TedG954" data-source="post: 601627" data-attributes="member: 9701"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">I was in a bar the other night.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">This ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">" Cost me 6 stitches...but,</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">**********</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I went to the drug store and told clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When you’re over sixty-five..............who cares?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">***********</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">friends over there instead of you.”</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Cost me a fat lip, but...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">**********</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said,</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Come on, what day was I born?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">*********</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">**********</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I went to our VFW last night and saw a</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Cost me 6 more stitches, but...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares?</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #1D2129"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TedG954, post: 601627, member: 9701"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#1D2129][FONT=Helvetica]I was in a bar the other night.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#1D2129][FONT=Helvetica]This ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you. " Cost me 6 stitches...but, [/FONT][/COLOR] [/SIZE][COLOR=#1D2129][FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares? ********** I went to the drug store and told clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?” I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....." When you’re over sixty-five..............who cares? *********** I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.” I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.” Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares? ********** I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really" she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares? ********* I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares? ********** I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re over sixty-five...............who cares?[/SIZE] [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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