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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="TedG954" data-source="post: 542522" data-attributes="member: 9701"><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">This man stumbled home from the bar one night. What followed was priceless.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family….. You’ve got to send me back straight away.”</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">St Peter replied “Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.”</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?”</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">“It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode.”</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before.”</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">“Never” replies Brian.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">“Well just relax and let it happen” says the rooster.</span></span><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him…. Ever!!!</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'">The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting “Brian, wake up you drunken sod, you’re sh*tting on the bed!!”</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #373E4D"><span style="font-family: 'helvetica'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TedG954, post: 542522, member: 9701"] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]This man stumbled home from the bar one night. What followed was priceless. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family….. You’ve got to send me back straight away.” [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]St Peter replied “Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?” [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]“It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode.” [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before.” [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]“Never” replies Brian. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]“Well just relax and let it happen” says the rooster.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him…. Ever!!! [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#373E4D][FONT=helvetica]The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting “Brian, wake up you drunken sod, you’re sh*tting on the bed!!” [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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