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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="TedG954" data-source="post: 500355" data-attributes="member: 9701"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><em><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #274e13">THESE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD BLONDE JOKES...CLASSIC!!</span></span></em></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><em><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #274e13"></span></span></em></strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><p style="text-align: left"> </p></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></span><p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">DISNEYLAND</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Two blondes were going to Disneyland.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Disneyland LEFT.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">They started crying... and turned around and went home.</span></span></strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span> </p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">CAR TROUBLE</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">She says, “What's the story?”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SPEEDING TICKET</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">nicely if he could see her driver’s license.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together!</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Just yesterday they took my license away and</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">now today you expect me to show it to you?”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> <strong>A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's</strong></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.</strong></span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">she pushed her elbow and screamed even</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">more. She pushed her knee and screamed;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Everywhere she touched made her scream.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">“Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">“I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">KNITTING</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. </span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Glancing at the car, he was astounded</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Realizing that she was oblivious to</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">BLOND ON TIME</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">her what their names were.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and one was named “Timex”.</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”;</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> “Helllooooo... ,” answered the blonde.“They're watchdogs.”;</span></span></strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">FINALLY, THE</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">BLONDE</span></span></strong></p></span></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!</span></span></strong></p></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">In the swim-meet, after the blond came in last competing in the breast-stroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.</span></span></strong></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> </p></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TedG954, post: 500355, member: 9701"] [INDENT][B][I][SIZE=4][COLOR=#274e13]THESE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD BLONDE JOKES...CLASSIC!! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][FONT=Arial][LEFT][B][I][SIZE=4][COLOR=#274e13] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/LEFT][/FONT][LEFT][/LEFT] [INDENT][INDENT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Helvetica][CENTER][B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]DISNEYLAND[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]Two blondes were going to Disneyland.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]Disneyland LEFT.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]They started crying... and turned around and went home.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]CAR TROUBLE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]She says, “What's the story?”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]SPEEDING TICKET[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]nicely if he could see her driver’s license.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together![/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]Just yesterday they took my license away and[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]now today you expect me to show it to you?”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [B]A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]Everywhere she touched made her scream.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]“Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]“I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]KNITTING[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting![/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]BLOND ON TIME[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]and one was named “Timex”.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] “Helllooooo... ,” answered the blonde.“They're watchdogs.”;[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES![/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/CENTER] [B][COLOR=#000099][FONT=Arial]In the swim-meet, after the blond came in last competing in the breast-stroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/FONT] [/INDENT] [/INDENT] [/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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