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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="TedG954" data-source="post: 408409" data-attributes="member: 9701"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #1F497D"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">F</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #DF007F"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">IRST DEGRE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A married couple were asleep when the phone rang</span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone,</span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">listened a moment and said 'How should I know; that's 200 miles</span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">from here!' and hung up.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The husband said, 'Who was that?'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.</span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #DF007F"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SECOND DEGREE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong> </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">So, the first blonde hands her the compact.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #CB008E"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">THIRD DEGREE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #CB008E"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">FOURTH DEGREE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . it's W.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #DF007F"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">FIFTH DEGREE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">A: 'Is it mine?'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #DF007F"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SIXTH DEGREE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a Alabama Freshman, sat in her US</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Roe vs. Wade was about.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="color: #CB008E"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SEVENTH DEGREE</span></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">and a K-9 unit, patrolling </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">nearby, was the first to respond.</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">sat down on the steps. </span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'</span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></strong></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TedG954, post: 408409, member: 9701"] [INDENT][B][COLOR=#1F497D][FONT=Arial]F[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial]IRST DEGRE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]A married couple were asleep when the phone rang[/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone,[/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]listened a moment and said 'How should I know; that's 200 miles[/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]from here!' and hung up. [/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]The husband said, 'Who was that?' [/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.[/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT][B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial]SECOND DEGREE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'[/FONT][/B] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT][B][FONT=Arial]The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' [/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT][B][FONT=Arial]So, the first blonde hands her the compact. [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!' [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][B][COLOR=#CB008E][FONT=Arial]THIRD DEGREE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#CB008E][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial] The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial] The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=#CB008E][FONT=Arial]FOURTH DEGREE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#CB008E][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' [/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . it's W. [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial]FIFTH DEGREE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]A: 'Is it mine?' [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial]SIXTH DEGREE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#DF007F][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a Alabama Freshman, sat in her US[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Roe vs. Wade was about. [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .' [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=#CB008E][FONT=Arial]SEVENTH DEGREE[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#CB008E][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Arial]Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]and a K-9 unit, patrolling [/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]nearby, was the first to respond. [/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial]they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!' [/FONT][/B] [/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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