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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="nikonpup" data-source="post: 372919" data-attributes="member: 9922"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000080">Three Kicks</span></span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">A big-city, <strong>anti-gun lawyer</strong> went duck hunting in rural Texas.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule."</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?"</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">He agreed to abide by the local custom. </span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. </span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"</span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 15px"> </span></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nikonpup, post: 372919, member: 9922"] [B][FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=3][SIZE=4] [CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000080]Three Kicks[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]A big-city, [B]anti-gun lawyer[/B] went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"[/SIZE][/FONT] [/SIZE][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
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