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<blockquote data-quote="mikew_RIP" data-source="post: 362923" data-attributes="member: 14174">Why I Like&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Retirement !Question: How many days in&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Sunday Question: When is a&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; might take all day. Question: What's the&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; to get everything done. Question: Why don't&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; with a 10% discount. Question: Among retirees,&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; shoes. Question: Why do retirees&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; count pennies? Answer: They are the&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; only ones who have the time. Question: What is the&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; retire? Answer: NUTS! Question: Why are retirees&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; so slow to clean out the basement, attic or&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; garage? Ans&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; wer: They know that&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; stuff there. Question: What do retirees&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; call a long lunch? Answer: Normal&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; ........&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Question: What is the best&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; way to describe retirement?Answer: The never ending&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Coffee Break. Question: What's the&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Answer: If you cut&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; classes, no one calls your parents. Question: Why does a&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; to tell the whole truth. And, my very&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; favorite.... QUESTION: What do you do&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; all week? Answer: Monday through&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday &amp; Sunday, I&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; rest. </blockquote>

[QUOTE="mikew_RIP, post: 362923, member: 14174"] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][U][COLOR=#990000]Why[/COLOR][/U][/B][U][COLOR=#990000] [B]I[/B] [B]Like Retirement ![/B] [/COLOR][/U][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] How many days in a week?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=#990000] [B] Question:[/B][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099] When is a retiree's bedtime?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] How many retirees to change a light bulb?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] Only one, but it might take all day.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] What's the biggest gripe of retirees?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]There is not enough time to get everything done.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] The term comes with a 10% discount.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [B]Question:[/B][/COLOR][COLOR=#000099] Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] Tied shoes.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] Why do retirees count pennies?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][COLOR=#7F3F00]They are the only ones who have the time.[/COLOR][COLOR=#7F3F00] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=#7F3F00]NUTS![/COLOR][COLOR=#7F3F00] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Ans wer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. [/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] What do retirees call a long lunch?[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] Normal ........[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][COLOR=#0000BF]What is the best way to describe retirement?[/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] The never ending Coffee Break.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? [/COLOR][B][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099]Question:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] He is too polite to tell the whole truth.[/COLOR][COLOR=#990000] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=#000099]And, my very favorite.... [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#990000]QUESTION:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#000099] What do you do all week?[/COLOR][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=#000099] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#990000]Answer:[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#990000] Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.[/COLOR][COLOR=#990000] [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]

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