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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="nikonpup" data-source="post: 315623" data-attributes="member: 9922"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The women were arguing noisily even in the court. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first." </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">============================================================</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I sent my newly licensed 16 year-old son to pick up a pizza. I handed him a $20 bill, a $5.00 coupon and sent him on his way.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">About forty minutes later, the boy returned home with the pizza ... and the coupon!</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I asked the obvious question, "Why didn't you use the coupon?"</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Dad, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">============================================================</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Nancy knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"What is it, child?" </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The priest turned, took a good look at her, and said,"Nancy, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake. You might need new glasses."</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">============================================================</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Potato Prostitute </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"> </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">How can you tell which one is the prostitute? </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">You're gonna love it...</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">It's the one with the little sticker that says.... </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I - DA - HO </span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">===========================================================</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Elk Sex" </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Two guys are drinking in a bar. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?" </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the VFW!"</span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nikonpup, post: 315623, member: 9922"] [B][FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=3]Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The women were arguing noisily even in the court. The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. ============================================================ I sent my newly licensed 16 year-old son to pick up a pizza. I handed him a $20 bill, a $5.00 coupon and sent him on his way. About forty minutes later, the boy returned home with the pizza ... and the coupon! I asked the obvious question, "Why didn't you use the coupon?" "Dad, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon." ============================================================ Nancy knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at her, and said,"Nancy, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake. You might need new glasses." ============================================================ Potato Prostitute Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? You're gonna love it... It's the one with the little sticker that says.... I - DA - HO =========================================================== "Elk Sex" Two guys are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?" "Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the VFW!"[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
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