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<blockquote data-quote="Marilynne" data-source="post: 295366" data-attributes="member: 10234">Not sure if this has been posted before, but if it has, it wasn't recent&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO Sam's&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Club &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Yesterday I was at Sam's Club,&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; pet,Owen , the Wonder Dog&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; dog.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; What did she think I had an&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; elephant?&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; So because I'm retired and have&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; was starting the Purina&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; most of my orifices and&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; IVs in both arms.&nbsp; I told her that it was&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; again.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; story.)&nbsp; Horrified, she asked if I ended&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; I told her no, I had&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; I thought the guy behind&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Sam's Club won't let me&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; people.&nbsp; They have all the time in the&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; world to think of crazy things to say.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Marilynne, post: 295366, member: 10234"] [COLOR=#800080][FONT=comic sans ms][B]Not sure if this has been posted before, but if it has, it wasn't recent [/B][/FONT][/COLOR] [B]A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO Sam's Club[/B] [B]Yesterday I was at Sam's Club, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,[/B][B]Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.[/B] [B]What did she think I had an elephant?[/B] [B]So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the [/B][B]Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,[/B][B] but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my [/B][B]orifices and IVs in both arms.[/B][B] I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with[/B][B] Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again.[/B] [B](I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)[/B][B] Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. [/B][B]I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. [/B][B]I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. [/B][B]Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.[/B][B] They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.[/B][COLOR=#800080][FONT=comic sans ms][/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]

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