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<blockquote data-quote="Blade Canyon" data-source="post: 201279" data-attributes="member: 15302">Fordham University donated the land for the Bronx Zoo in order to have a buffer between the encroaching development and the University.&nbsp; In order to stock the new zoo, they hired British and French explorers, plus they sent along a local Bronx man to learn the trade. While in the deepest jungles, the team was captured by a tribe of cannibals.&nbsp; The three men were tied to a tree, and a large pot of boiling oil was being prepared.&nbsp; The tribe's Chief approached the three men.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;I have learned English from the missionaries.&nbsp; You think we are savages because we will eat you, but we are not savages.&nbsp; We are civilized.&nbsp; Although you will die, the meat from your body will nourish us so we can be strong and fight our enemies, we will use your bones to make spears, forks, knives, and other implements to improve our lives, your skins will be used to line our canoes so we can battle our enemies on the river.&quot;In order to prove to you that we are not savages, I will give each one of you a last wish.&quot;The British Explorer says, &quot;I would like my revolver with one cartridge, so that I can end my life and be spared the pain of the boiling oil.&quot;&nbsp; The Chief consents, and they untie one hand of the Brit and hand him the revolver.&nbsp; &quot;For King and Country!&quot; says the Brit, who then shoots himself in the head.The Chief turns to the French explorer.&nbsp; &quot;What is your wish?&quot;&nbsp; The Frenchman says, &quot;I, too, would like the revolver with one cartridge, so I will not die in excruciating pain.&quot;&nbsp; They give the Frenchman the revolver, and he says &quot;Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite!&quot; and kills himself.Finally, the Chief comes the man from the Bronx.&nbsp; &quot;And what is your final wish?&quot;The Bronx guy says (in a strong Bronx accent), &quot;I'd like a fork.&quot;The Chief stares blankly for a moment and asks again.The man from the Bronx says, &quot;I'd like a fork.&nbsp; You were talking about how civilized you were, and how our bones will be made into forks and stuff, so I'd like to see one of these forks.&quot;The Chief unties one hand for the Bronx native, then hands him a fork.The Bronx man immediately begins stabbing himself all over, and says &quot;Here's your fucking canoe.&quot;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Blade Canyon, post: 201279, member: 15302"] Fordham University donated the land for the Bronx Zoo in order to have a buffer between the encroaching development and the University. In order to stock the new zoo, they hired British and French explorers, plus they sent along a local Bronx man to learn the trade. While in the deepest jungles, the team was captured by a tribe of cannibals. The three men were tied to a tree, and a large pot of boiling oil was being prepared. The tribe's Chief approached the three men. "I have learned English from the missionaries. You think we are savages because we will eat you, but we are not savages. We are civilized. Although you will die, the meat from your body will nourish us so we can be strong and fight our enemies, we will use your bones to make spears, forks, knives, and other implements to improve our lives, your skins will be used to line our canoes so we can battle our enemies on the river. "In order to prove to you that we are not savages, I will give each one of you a last wish." The British Explorer says, "I would like my revolver with one cartridge, so that I can end my life and be spared the pain of the boiling oil." The Chief consents, and they untie one hand of the Brit and hand him the revolver. "For King and Country!" says the Brit, who then shoots himself in the head. The Chief turns to the French explorer. "What is your wish?" The Frenchman says, "I, too, would like the revolver with one cartridge, so I will not die in excruciating pain." They give the Frenchman the revolver, and he says "Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite!" and kills himself. Finally, the Chief comes the man from the Bronx. "And what is your final wish?" The Bronx guy says (in a strong Bronx accent), "I'd like a fork." The Chief stares blankly for a moment and asks again. The man from the Bronx says, "I'd like a fork. You were talking about how civilized you were, and how our bones will be made into forks and stuff, so I'd like to see one of these forks." The Chief unties one hand for the Bronx native, then hands him a fork. The Bronx man immediately begins stabbing himself all over, and says "Here's your fucking canoe." [/QUOTE]

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