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Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
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<blockquote data-quote="TedG954" data-source="post: 135161" data-attributes="member: 9701"><p>Politically incorrect? Who cares? Laugh!</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">your will power.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">eventually'.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">that!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">sandwich works best!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">with her mouth closed.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">yourself. 'I'm going to take that.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa. He looks down and sees a</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">farmer in the fields and shouts to him, 'where am I?' The farmer</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">looks back up and shouts back. 'You're in that basket.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">they wanted the name of a country?</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TedG954, post: 135161, member: 9701"] Politically incorrect? Who cares? Laugh! [SIZE=3][FONT=times new roman]I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]your will power.'[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]eventually'.[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]that![/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]sandwich works best![/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]with her mouth closed.[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]yourself. 'I'm going to take that.'[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa. He looks down and sees a[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]farmer in the fields and shouts to him, 'where am I?' The farmer[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]looks back up and shouts back. 'You're in that basket.'[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know[/FONT] [FONT=times new roman]they wanted the name of a country?[/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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