Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

Burt

Burt

New member
Not sure if this has been posted here before...

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS

This one is priceless...
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travelschedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail..

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
 
Burt

Burt

New member
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind
him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

'What was that for?' he asked.

'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of
the horses I bet on,' he explained.

'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good
explanation.'

Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit
him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him
out cold.

When he came to, he asked, 'What was that for?

'Your horse phoned.'
 
Burt

Burt

New member
DC.png
 
Burt

Burt

New member
Postman

One Monday morning the postman is walking through the neighborhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

"Wow David, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the Postman comments.

David, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun, and it got a bit wild.

We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing 'WHO AM I.'

The Postman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play WHO AM I?"

"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."

The postman laughs and says, "Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it."

"Probably a good thing you did," David responded. "Your name came up 7 times."
 
Burt

Burt

New member
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,

Enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his

Attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin,

there's no paper on this side either!"
 
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