Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

JH Foto

Senior Member
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JH Foto

Senior Member
[FONT=&quot]SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Me: What is a vowel?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Me: Close enough.[/FONT]
 

mikew_RIP

Senior Member
SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.
Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.
Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.
Me: What is a vowel?
Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …
Me: Close enough.


I remember the answer to that from school, the vowels where on the left of the blackboard and the consonants where on the right :D
 
Wow!!!! Only in Prattville, AL.... You will not believe what happened to me today. I pulled in to get gas at the shell station. Having only cash I had to pay inside. As I was walking in, I noticed these 2 cops watching a man who was smoking while pumping gas. I saw him & thought, "Is this Man drunk, stupid, or just crazy?!! With the troopers right there too?!"
But anyway, I went inside and paid. As I was checking out, I heard someone screaming, i knew what was happening. I looked out the window & the man's arm was on fire! He was swinging his arm & running around going crazy! As I went outside, the officers had to take him to the ground & they put the fire out with their coffees!!
Then they handcuffed him & threw him in the police car. I, being the curious person that I am, I asked the officers what they were arresting him for... The cop looked me square in the eyes & said ...
"WAVING A FIREARM!"
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grandpaw

Senior Member

B
ack on January 9th, a group of Wadesboro, North Carolina bikers were riding east on
Hwy.74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies,the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
 

nikonpup

Senior Member
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At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society . "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery", asked the couple?
"Because I am the artist, who painted the picture", he replied, "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all.
They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch"
 
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