Lol! That's funny, Don!
My birdfeeder is on a pole in the backyard. Squirrels used to be a problem until I added a baffle--no trouble since. And although the squirrels
could eat the birdseed that's on the ground, they rarely go to the bird feeder now. What type of birdseed do you usually use? Walmart carries an Economy Mix made by Pennington. I used it because it was the cheapest I could find, but when Walmart couldn't get any in for a while, I had to buy something else. I tried birdseed from Home Depot, Ace, and Petsmart only to find the birds practically stopped coming to the feeder. Once Walmart replenished their stock, I bought the Pennington Economy mix again. The birdseed was eaten in a very short time! The birds prefer this brand plus it is the best on my wallet.
I buy the 40-pound bag when it is available, but this link shows the picture.
Pennington Seed Wild Bird Ration, 20lb: Birds : Walmart.com