Mothers of the Bride

After quitting shooting wedding decades ago and being roped into shooting 1 more this weekend I finally remember why I decided to never shoot another wedding.

Mother of the Bride.

I am shooting this at the request of my son and his bride to be. I am not charging anything to anyone for the wedding shoot and photos so I thought it would be different. I could shoot what and how I want and not have to listen to anyone other then the Bride. First the mother sends me a schedule of how and when I would be shooting everything on Saturday without ever asking how mush time I would need. I rewrote the schedule and sent it back. I shot some photos for the bride a couple of weeks ago and picked the one I liked and did all the work to get it just like I wanted it. The mother sends a message to my wife telling her that she wants to see all the ones I shot so she can pick the one she wants. I would never show anyone all the photos I shoot and let them pick. Maybe a few and let them pick between them but that would be a paying client.

Through venting now.
 

Daz

Senior Member
I agree !! Its the one thing I am dreading with getting into the wedding side.

I agree though that I would never let them look at my images until I was happy to hand them over, I had a client that I shot his mum and dads 60th wedding anniversary and he wanted everything, even the unedited images I wasnt happy to deliver and I had to tell him straight they aren't what you have paid for...
 

Marcel

Happily retired
Staff member
Super Mod
Now a little white lie doesn't hurt sometimes. I would just show them the ones that I want and tell them that a lot were missed, blurred, washed out, too dark, whatever comes to you at the time. But, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER agree to give them all the unprocessed images. If you feel like it and can stand them around you, you might let them see them on your computer screen, but I would never let them leave my house with unprocessed shots.

I guess that since this is family to you now, you might have to compromise a bit, so I'll pray for you too. :)
 
Now a little white lie doesn't hurt sometimes. I would just show them the ones that I want and tell them that a lot were missed, blurred, washed out, too dark, whatever comes to you at the time. But, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER agree to give them all the unprocessed images. If you feel like it and can stand them around you, you might let them see them on your computer screen, but I would never let them leave my house with unprocessed shots.

I guess that since this is family to you now, you might have to compromise a bit, so I'll pray for you too. :)

Never been one to compromise to much. I might do one or two more and tell them this it their choices. I did not get along with my mother in law and I doubt my son is going to get along with his. I was lucky though mine did not live close so I did not have to see her for 10 years. My son's lives locally
 

mikew_RIP

Senior Member
In all the years my late wife did weddings she only had one problem wedding,the brides mother kicked of about the images,we couldn't pin her down as to what the problem was,eventually she told us.

You have made my daughter look like a ginger Tart (uk for slapper,whore,or what you like)

What can you say
 

Whiskeyman

Senior Member
In all the years my late wife did weddings she only had one problem wedding,the brides mother kicked of about the images,we couldn't pin her down as to what the problem was,eventually she told us.

You have made my daughter look like a ginger Tart (uk for slapper,whore,or what you like)

What can you say

You tell her "No, she looked that way on her own!"

WM
 

Whiskeyman

Senior Member
The local photographers group I belong to has many members, most of them in fact, that will not do any weddings. Mainly because of the MOB: Mother Of Bride!

One of our most prolific wedding photographers in the guild has a policy of "For a price." His prices are pretty steep to begin with, but he still books 80-100 weddings each year, and uses up to three assistants at each. He chooses the proofs the clients see as part of his price. When pressed to do things that he doesn't want to do, like proofing all the shots, his prices go up very, very fast.

Don, your biggest problem here is being compelled to do this in the first place. This should be an event for you to enjoy and be relaxed. It definitely sounds like the wrong way to start this "relationship."

WM
 

Moab Man

Senior Member
I have shot one wedding. The person begged pleaded etc... I had zero complaints or difficulties from anyone involved. However, I can see all the explosive traps all around with weddings and I will never do it again. I feel as though I ran through a mine field and got lucky. I will not tempt fate a second time.

And NO, you never show ALL your shots. People have this misconception that at a pro level everything is wonderfully shot. Now I'm sure this is true for Don, but the rest of us mortals? No way.
 
Don, your biggest problem here is being compelled to do this in the first place. This should be an event for you to enjoy and be relaxed. It definitely sounds like the wrong way to start this "relationship."

WM

It is my son that wanted me to shoot. I think he had two reasons for it. One being his first marriage the bride picked the photographer and he had to pay for it and there were almost no usable photos out of the bunch. Outdoor wedding in the evening and she had her flash pointed up the whole time. I brought this to he attention and her response was "All professional photographers know that you always use bounce flash" My response was to look up and the stars above our heads and ask "And what are you bouncing it off of?" She just gave me a dirty look and continued to shoot away while lighting the heavens. Second, I think he knew that I would listen to the bride and not pay any attention to the MOB. And if push came to shove I would tell her to go take a hike.
 

Whiskeyman

Senior Member
It is my son that wanted me to shoot. I think he had two reasons for it. One being his first marriage the bride picked the photographer and he had to pay for it and there were almost no usable photos out of the bunch. Outdoor wedding in the evening and she had her flash pointed up the whole time. I brought this to he attention and her response was "All professional photographers know that you always use bounce flash" My response was to look up and the stars above our heads and ask "And what are you bouncing it off of?" She just gave me a dirty look and continued to shoot away while lighting the heavens. Second, I think he knew that I would listen to the bride and not pay any attention to the MOB. And if push came to shove I would tell her to go take a hike.

I understand that you're doing it for your son, and for that, I commend you. I'm happy to not be in your shoes, though I wish you, and your son, the best in this!

I hope the photographer at his first wedding either learned a lesson, or has gone out of business! Too many like her, though. They think that because they've got a camera and can take better photos than some people, they can be a pro photographer. It sort of reminds me of the AAMCO commercial from long ago, where the customer takes his car in for transmission work, and as he leaves the shop, the mechanic says "I always wanted to get to fix a transmission!"

WM
 
I was shooting a D5100 at the time and she was shooting a Nikon to. Son't remember which one at this time but my D5100 was a better model than what she was shooting. But you are right, to many people buy a camera and decide they're going to be a photographer and go out and start taking jobs. They sell it cheap and get jobs and then people wonder why they did not get good photos. It gives all photographers a bad name.
 

Blade Canyon

Senior Member
Don't forget, you might share some grandkids with this woman! Lol.

I agree with Whiskeyman: this wedding should be something for you to enjoy! Just remind the woman that the bride's family normally pays for the photographs...
 

Bill4282

Senior Member
I personally know someone who bought a high end point and shoot and advertised as a pro. I asked her about training and she said she didn't need it. Actually had a few jobs. Go figure.

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