Left Stranded (amateur short movie)

Garz

Senior Member
Hi friends!


This is my very first shot movie. I do not have too much equipment and I am just an amateur, but I did my best. I hope you like it.

 

Moab Man

Senior Member
I liked it a lot right up to the torn up note being washed away. You lost me after that, although I did watch it to the end. I would have loved for this story to have ended after the note washes away and a camera shot shows her half way away from the camera walking away and the screen goes dark. Until the point I mentioned where you lost me, I was really invested in the character and what was causing the sense of loss. The dramatic scary change just didn't do it for me.

Your camera work was really nice. Most impressed without however you pulled it off to have no people in the shots anywhere that I saw.
 

Garz

Senior Member
Thanks for watching Moab!

I'm afraid I have not been able to explain the meaning of the story, it is my first short and I made many mistakes. The next one will be better.


Thanks again for your comments.
 

Moab Man

Senior Member
As for meaning, and lets pretend the movie ended where I said, it was a story of great loss and there was something about that beach or the sunset that meant something incredible and she was trying to make peace with her loss. It really connected for me... until it all blew up LOL. Keep at it, but always know where you're going with your story. Thanks for sharing.
 

Garz

Senior Member
Thanks Moab.

I'm going to try to explain the meaning, my English is not very good but I think I can do it.

The short shows a 'loop story'. Sometimes, when we lost something or someone, we live in a distressing loop trying to get it back. We grabbed to small clues or fake promises (the note) but we know that is going to be another day waiting for something that we don't have anymore (she goes again to the beach, and what she's looking for doesn't show up.

That's what I tried to tell in this short, but it's no easy... ;)
 

paul04

Senior Member
Well done, very well thought out, and put together, the 1st 2 minutes were spot on, and the last 2 minutes were spot on,

Cut the middle bit out, and it could be like deja vu, where she keeps re living the same dream or memory each day.

Keep up the excellent work.
 

Geoffc

Senior Member
Out of interest, what camera did you use to film this. Also, did you have a stabiliser device for things like the bicycle scene and when you followed the lady?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 

Garz

Senior Member
Thanks Whiskeyman and paul04 for your comments. I'm glad to read it. I'll keep your advice in mind, Paul.

Geoffc, thank you. I used a Nikon D5100 and 18-55 kit lens. For the bike scene and the lady running I used a cheap Amazon stabilizer (100$) but I'm still learning how to operate it correctly.
 

Blacktop

Senior Member
Thanks Blacktop. Many people agree on that! Maybe I should edit the movie again..

Sorry if I sounded harsh, especially since I know next to nothing about making a movie. I was very interested and captivated to that point. After that my interest was gone.
On technical side however, I really liked it.
 

TedG954

Senior Member
I thought that it represented a reoccurring dream that goes a bit further with each night.

Dreams take abrupt turns with no logical relation to the previous dream sequences. There are voids in a dream that we wonder about.

The girl wakes up looking for the same conclusions that we, as the viewers, are waiting for.

It may come in the next night's dream... maybe tomorrow?

Being on the bus, at the end, represents the mysterious deja vu that we all experience from dreams.


That's my take. Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.


(And.... we're tired of torn up notes washing up on our Florida shores. So knock off the littering.)



Nice job.
 
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