Bad Attitude at Weddings..UK Phenomina or world wide...??

Over the last few years have noticed a increasing bad attitude on the part of the bride/groom and guests towards the photographer.
Asking or telling people inc B and G what to do ....stand here ...move 6in to left ..tilt your head a little ..turn a little so you are not square to the camera etc causes a bad reaction ..on Saturday a bride refused to sit down on a stool provided .." I am not comfortable being lower down than my husband" she knows nothing of the pose being set up and is performing for her mother who has a rubbish camera.....Older guests who had been groaning at the general attitude just lifted there eyebrows to us,shrugged shoulders and walked off ...One sympathised with our "impossible job"

I talked with my wife and we thought its people not knowing how to behave ..caused by.

total decline of Church influence ..1960 onwards.
Influence of Eastenders a TV show where bad behavior particularly from 20 ish girls is common.
No one doing what they are told at school or having an attention span of more than 2 min.
Photographers at other weddings they have attended have already given up and just do a fly on the wall job..take any old rubbish.

I am sure if these people had paid $5000 they would be less inclined to waste there money.

what do you think

What's wrong with; "Shut up and sit there or you can take your own pictures"?

Well my view is they chose ME after having access to 45000 of my pictures at 120 weddings . They should know what to expect ...but its there wedding day so I just say under my breath ..OK you a$$ holes I am wired so dont even try to complain afterwards....

One guy said I had runined his wedding day by pushing him to do things and then said photos 10 x better than they ever expected.....I still ruined his day and he could not face looking at a wedding album ...thats fine $500 to me as it was pre paid .....

I would agree so we demand of the groom ( best option ) to arrange with one of the guests ( preferably well muscled ) to be our contact and get people to do as we ask. Last wedding worked like magic. Also well worth sorting all the poses you want with the bride and groom before the day.

I would suggest it is just you. If your attitude is anything similar to what you posted here on the day - it is little wonder you are receiving negative attitudes...

I don't think the lesser influence of the Church & Eastenders can really be blamed for people's attitudes. Maybe you are attracting that kind of client with pricing that is too competitive - You said yourself that you doubt you see this attitude if they were paying $5000, so why not either charge more, or offer a "Menu" with price ranges?

Realizing marriage is kinda traditional I still wonder why those traditional poses are the norm.

I live next to the town hall and when the occasional wedding is done, I see the photographers in action out there. I can almost predict what shots they'll go for, who will be positioned where and what poses they'll be taking. It makes me realize everyone's wedding album probably looks like everyone's wedding album.

I know it's not how every photographer works but it sure is the norm.

There are thousands of good shots that can be taken that do not follow the conventional route so why do I not see that happen too much in wedding photography?

Is it because people demand the traditional poses or is it because this sort of photography becomes a job where you need to have this many of that and that many of this and by going through a "worksheet", you're certain to get it done?

Love Nikon said:

." I am not comfortable being lower down than my husband"

I talked with my wife and we thought its people not knowing how to behave ..caused by.

total decline of Church influence ..1960 onwards.

what do you think

Click to expand...

I think that there are people with bad manners, there always has been but it may be worse than it once was. Education is massively important and children now probably do get away with more ill discipline than they used to.

I think the decline of church influence is a massively positive thing. Your above example might have been countered by a greater influence from the church as the bible quite clearly treats women as second class citizens who are subordinate to their husbands. Of course modern attitudes have turned away from the misogyny and bigotry traditionally preached by the church. The further you go back into the history of the church the worse it has treated people. A little bit of dissent towards a photographer who they have employed to provide a service for them, is hardly comparable to the churches dark past.

I know this is going to be inflammatory, but the OP brought the church into it and asks what we thought. I won't say any more as this isn't a forum for religious debate.

I'm probably of the same generation being talked about, I can't stand Eastenders, don't go to church, did what I was told at school, have a good attention span and have not seen photographers at weddings that have given up. I wouldn't have a bad attitude towards a photographer as I understand that they are the experienced professional.

Perhaps the lesson is more discussion is needed prior to the wedding to ensure both parties know exactly what is to be expected.

When I wrote this I did not even think of no religion on forum.....

there was a policewoman on TV the other night who I think had it ..." people dont like being told what to do and when they are they kick off "

Its 2015 and standards of behaviour are on the floor for a large percentage of the population particularly when a little alcohol has been added.

Personally I think a meeting, prior to the wedding, to discuss their (please note it is "their" not "there" - the latter being Eastender talk) requirements and your recommendations so that everyone knew, and agreed, what shots would be taken would have solved a lot of these issues.

It is after all their wedding and if she wants to stand on a table while he lies on the ground so that she can prove her point - well that's perfect, agree to do it and charge a lot more for the "extraordinary" and unique shot.

The world is a continually evolving place and as photographers we probably need to evolve too ...

I think you are right Lawrence but the UK is small and we travel the whole country and almost never meet the B and G before the day...almost never go back to the same venue so all shoots are "different" dependent on whats available at the location. We always ask when they book if they have studied the pics on the website fully....
If you have a high court judge for a groom you are going to have difficulty because he is not use to being told what to do and similarly a guy on a production line wants a day when he says what happens .
as for getting a guest/best man to organise ..you joke ..too slow ..megaphone works much better....

If you want to be treated like dirt (despite wearing a dinner jacket and bow tie) by the Celebrant/hotel manager/car driver /bride and groom/ guests then this is the job for you ....

How you can possibly shoot someones wedding without meeting them is beyond me. I live in a MASSIVE country and I have never shot a wedding without at least 1 meeting before the event.

Advances in technology make meetings very simple - Skype, Facetime etc is a fantastic way to meet people who live farther than you are prepared to travel. Perhaps people put as much effort into being nice to you as you put into taking the time to understand them and plan their day.

I have never been treated like dirt. Respect given, respect received.

Perhaps you are in the wrong industry.

There used to be respect for the photographer and people would let the photographer lead as he would have their best interest in mind. Today the couple leads and the photog is the poodle coping with their shenanigans. Pictures get done in a hurry and dont look top notch because not being able to be prepared for everytbing. G&b tell me hurry up with the family formals where they are late sometimes 1-2 hours. I understand what LN is saying. Today u have to smile and take whatever they throw at u.

Not sorry we wound ours up about 1990,due to my late wifes illness but she had enjoyed the job,brides booked her because they had seen her work or because a female wedding photographer was a rare thing.We offered several packages but all revolved around set groups,life was simple then,start with the bride and bring people in,god help any one who wouldn't play ball the bride wanted the set wedding and would normally not tolerate any problems from the guests.
None ever ask for informal pictures although if my wife saw something happening especially with children she would try to capture it,the only thing i think she would have enjoyed about the modern wedding would be the computer editing instead of a spotting brush and having to do the same repair over and over for each print.

Rocketman dead on Mike too. Kev ..having lived in Noosa for 10 years maybe the australian attitude is like other things 20 years behind ...You can meet with them or do a pre wedding shoot and they still dont listen or understand ...People now know there is no afterlife so they will do what they want in this life and sod everyone else ....

I will add this though and it will sound rough. this is from working my way up to higher end clientele. mostly this is true but there are rarities. the higher the level the photog is the more hes respected. the more the people who hire that photographer are also higher level people. those who are budget photogs or decent photogs have hard people to deal with who are problematic. they demand more expect more, nitpick, argue and they always complain. people who spend more for higher end photog know the value of paying for a higher end photog and respect that photog to deliver the best. they dont bother him they let him work freely and they know the work they get is top notch. this is only my experience though.

LOL. The photog needs to know it's place. If you are performing a service for compensation, then the person who is doing the compensating IS the customer/your boss.
You may make suggestion and such, but you DO NOT order the customer around or soon the word will get out and you'll be driving a truck for a living.

As for the customer being a dikk, there is nothing you can do about that. Bite your tongue and finish the job as described in the contract and don't ever work for that person again.
There are plenty of people with dikk headed bosses that have to bite their tongue for a lot longer then what a wedding lasts.

I was with you until you blamed it on a "decline of church influence", as though churches have always behaved in an upstanding manner. Maybe it was your attitude that caused the problem.

Blacktop has it perfectly...
When I turn up at a wedding/talk to my customers I assume they have looked at my work/know I am qualified with three professional bodies,know what I am doing and want me to produce for them a similar quality product.

But no they are thinking like Blacktop ..I paid you, you do what I want ..the fact that they have never been married before and know nothing of how good wedding photography is done is of no consequence.

We say most brides ruin there wedding photography either with bad time keeping or attitude..

Your work should be the only thing that needs to speak for itself, they shouldn't be focused on your kit. If your signature is correct, you actually have 0 professional bodies (nor any pro level lenses) but that wouldn't dissuade me from hiring you if I knew your work was good.