Instructing clients

How much do you do this?

I have had a few clients who have been a little shy/uneasy about being photographed (husbands dragged along by wifes, for one ), and I really really, really wanna be able to make these people feel good about themselves - but how to do this? I said stuff like, you look so great on picures, this is really good, etc.

I just try to explain where to be at a specific area, stand/sit/lean, look this or that way, play with you baby or maybe lift him - and then I actually dont really say more... but this isn't enough to help apparently. I also feel instructing to much makes the image a little weird, as they aren't acting like themselves then.

My photography are about moments, which is sooo hard to catch, if the person are very shy.

Have thought a lot about starting out with some form for activities, but its a bit hard to figure out what they should do as what one would find funny, another would maybe feel really bad about.. Thinking about rope jumping, playing a kids game, something easy but hopefully could get them laughing.

Hope to hear from you all, everybody working with grown ups. Not only pro, I just didn't know where else to place this subject.

Kids are really much easier!

Don't feel bad. I remember having this problem when I first started photographing people. I think we all do. What follows is personal opinion:

There are a lot of poses out there that you can download. There are also a lot of rules/best practices to keep in mind, such as "if it bends, bend it". Meaning elbows, knees, wrists, etc. Girls should tilt their heads one way, men the other. Lots of crap like that. It's all helpful, but don't get sucked in by all of it and make it gospel.

1: Don't be afraid to tell them what you want. You can't expect normal people (aka not pro models) to love the camera. Some people are just awkward. But don't ever be afraid to just go for it.

2: Pose them yourself. ALWAYS ask for permission to touch. If someone's hair is out of place, fix it. If a necklace looks weird, move it. But always ask.

You have to make people feel at ease. You should be chatting the whole time, making small talk. Tell jokes. Tell stories. This is a people business, so you have to communicate and make your customers relax. If someone is giving you a fake smile or their shoulders are tense, stop what you're doing immediately and don't force it.

Lastly, and most importantly, you have to learn to let go. If you are hardcore about getting it just right, then your shots are going to look posed, and that's bad. Men can be hard to work with. I pull them aside for some guy talk, which is a luxury you may not have. If they're being uncooperative, this is what I tell them:

"This is very important to (wife/girlfriend/mom/insert woman figure here). It's a couple hours out of your life, but she will cherish these photos forever. That's a pretty fair trade-off, don't you think? I know this isn't your thing, and I'll do my best to get you through it as quickly as possible. The more cooperative you are, the sooner you'll be done."

If it's a married couple, I toss in a joke about getting some sex later that night, something completely inappropriate. You know, guy talk. Works every time.

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A big thanks, Browncat.

About this guy thing, I photograph the lady (and maybe kid) first, so he just have a little time to relax. And then I try to get a 1 on 1 conversation with him, about anything, doesn't matter. I think that relax them a bit, just to get to talk to me alone (but not always enough) - guess its always the lady who are in contact with me before.

Looking through your text, I think I see where I do it wrong: its after I got them to pose a specific way/place, I think I shut up then because I concentrate on settings, angles, light etc.