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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    pnomanikon's Avatar

    An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    I woke up this morning to a world with a big empty spot in it.

    I'm 62 and have had many friends throughout my life in the military and traveling the world. As we all know, most friends come and go at various times. Of the hundreds of friends I made in my life, I still hear from maybe a half dozen on a regular basis.

    One of those was Les. Les and I met in Middle School back around 1970. Being non-athletic, we found ourselves in choir (I was the pianist/accompanist) and various activities at our church. When I look back at our yearbooks, Les and I are usually in the same photos.

    While we lost touch with each other going to different universities, we met up again in the early 1980s. He was a computer geek and helped me write and print a resume to send to the US Air Force Band, where I was auditioning to be a pianist in 1985. I think that resume helped me win that audition, and I started my 20-year career with the USAF.

    Les bought my wife and I a nice pizza pan for our wedding. We still use it. I bet we have made several hundred pizzas in that pan the past 35 years.

    Every time my wife and I returned home to visit my parents, we set aside time to visit with Les and have a meal.

    Surprisingly, Les never married. He was a super nice guy, an accountant with the university (later an Assistant Dean of Student Affairs), active in church, and an all-around clean-cut guy with a quiet sense of humor. He was an only child, and still took care of his parents and close relatives even as they aged. Above all, he was one of the most caring people I ever knew. Even though he lived in his own house nearby, he visited with his parents several times each week and drove them places on the weekends.

    After I retired from the Air Force, my wife and I moved back near my hometown. Our son started at the university, and Les invited him to his office right next to the dorms and told him if he ever needed anything, he knows where to find me. How reassuring!

    Two years ago, Les' father passed away just weeks after my mother passed away. We grieved together. My father had passed the year before, so I was now an "orphan". He still had his mother, and they were very close. He also had a lot of older relatives he took care of on a regular basis.

    In the past two years, my wife and I would meet up with Les and his mother whenever we drove down to put flowers on the graves for my folks. Our favorite lunch destination was Grand China Buffet. We sometimes also met up with old classmates there just by chance. We would eat and then talk for an hour. Always a joy - never a chore. Unfortunately, we have not been able to meet the past 4 months because of the COVID-19 virus.

    I talked to Les just before Christmas and he told me he wanted to have a Will and a Medical Directive made up. Being the only child and never married, he wanted me to act as Executor for the Will and Medical Directive, since his mother would probably be gone long before him. He told me most emphatically that he did not ever want to be plugged into a machine to live if he was not conscious and alert. He trusted me to carry out his wishes.

    I spoke to Les for a half hour on Sunday afternoon this week. All was well with him and he was busy taking care of his mother. He was also busy with his favorite hobby - refinishing antique furniture. With the COVID-19 restrictions, he had finally found time to do that.

    Then it all came crashing down.

    On Wednesday, I got a call from Les' mother. He was on his way to the grocery store for her and was found slumped over in his car at a stop light on the outskirts of town. Several people got out of their cars to help when it was apparent something was wrong. His car doors were locked, so they called 911. By the time the fire department arrived a freed him, they discovered his heart had stopped - possibly for 15 minutes.

    At the hospital, it was discovered there was no brain activity and they kept him on life support until a decision could be made. His mother was allowed only a 5-minute "visit" because of COVID-19 precautions at the hospital.

    His mother called me that evening, and we talked about how Les had told me he did not want to be plugged in to life support. She was glad she did not have to make that decision on her own.

    The next day (Thursday), she was allowed to be with him between several tests they ran. At the end of the day, the decision was made to pull him off life support the next day (Friday).

    Yesterday, they pulled Les off life support and he passed peacefully just 15 minutes later.

    There is a huge hole in my world this morning that will never be filled.

    When I turn on the TV and see people saying and doing mean things to others, I wonder why good people like Les are taken from us. Only God knows the answer. Maybe, someday, we will also know.

    Rest in Peace, Les.


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    Last edited by pnomanikon; 05-30-2020 at 07:51 PM.
    Thanks/Like nestor.stura Thanks/liked this post
     
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  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Danno's Avatar

    Re: An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    So sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. Only the Lord can fill those holes. God be with you
    Thanks/Like pnomanikon Thanks/liked this post
     
    Dan~~Kentucky

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  3. #3
    Senior Member
    "CHRIS"'s Avatar

    Re: An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    You're in my prayers as well. Lots of questions, few answers it seems. I lost both parents last year (4 months apart) and still have trouble accepting it. One thing I do know is God is in charge, and has a plan. Gotta keep the faith.....even when that very faith is shaken to the core. Again, so sorry that this happened.
    RIP Les.
    Thanks/Like pnomanikon, hark Thanks/liked this post
     


  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Woodyg3's Avatar

    Re: An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    So sorry for your loss.
    Thanks/Like pnomanikon Thanks/liked this post
     
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  5. #5
    Senior Member

    Re: An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    I know Im new here, but I want to say I've unfortunately been in similar situations and I can say that time will heal all wounds to an extent. If I may say, guard against the hard heart that may present itself. Your friend would want you to remember the good in life and in your experiences with him. You have to lean on your faith as hard and confusing as that may sound it will help. I did not in my situation and it was made much worse.

    I pray for peace and comfort for you and for Les's co workers at the college who will also miss his company.
    Thanks/Like hark, pnomanikon Thanks/liked this post
     
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  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Michael J.'s Avatar

    Re: An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    Sorry for your loss. God bless. It was tear-touching when I read your story.
    Thanks/Like pnomanikon Thanks/liked this post
     
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  7. #7
    Senior Member
    nestor.stura's Avatar

    Re: An Empty Spot In My Life Where A Life-Long Friend Used To Be

    My sincere condolences... It's known and still difficult to accept that as we advance in life, I am 65, many of our dearest friends and relatives start leaving.
    I have lost almost all my family too.
    Nevertheless, our faith give us the strength and the optimism of being sure death is not the end.
    Wish you the best. My prayers for your family, Les mother and his soul.

    Enviado desde mi RMX1931 mediante Tapatalk
    Thanks/Like pnomanikon Thanks/liked this post
     
    Néstor

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