Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

What did the Mayonnaise say to the Refrigerator?

Close the door, I'm dressing.



What happens to Pastors that eat Chili Dogs?

They have to sit in their own Pew.

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› See More: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

A man in a bar walks into the bathroom and sees a rat on a canoe floating on the toilet.

Amazed, the man says, "How long have you been floating there?"

With a bewildered look in his eye, the rat responds, "Many Moons!"

A man walk's into a psychiatrist's office screaming, "I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee!"

The psychiatrist says, "Relax! You're two tents."

Photog's joke....

" You’re so dumb you don’t shoot in RAW because you think you’ll get E.Coli.”

A monkey comes in a bar and asks: Do you have any bananas?

The bartender says: No we don't

Monkey: Do you have any bananas?

No we don't have bananas you stupid monkey.

Monkey: Are you sure you don't have any bananas?

Bartender gets under the bar, picks up a hammer that is there for a weapon and says: Now you stupid monkey, you ask me again if I have bananas and I'll nail both your hands on the bar.

Monkey asks: Do you have any nails?

Bartender: No, we DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS!

Monkey: Do you have any bananas.

A Conversation in Heaven

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.

WANDA: Hi Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA: I froze to death.

WANDA: How horrible!

SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating on me, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA: So, what happened?

WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

Three women, a blonde, a brunette and a red head, are talking amongst themselves about sex.

The brunette says, "I heard if you have sex lying down, you will have a baby boy!"

The red head states, "Well, i heard that if you are on top, you will have a baby girl!"

The blonde looks at both of them with some worry and says, "Does that mean i will have puppies!?"