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  1. #41
    Senior Member
    nikonpup's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Quote Originally Posted by snaphappy View Post
    hey i can't see anything but a question mark in a blue square for #35
    probably one of the "in crowd" jokes. :-)


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  2. #42
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    I read fifty shades of grey to learn more about white balance.
    Thanks/Like snaphappy, N/A Thanks/liked this post
     

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  3. #43
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Photographers are very mean. First, they frame you, then they shoot you, then hang you on the wall.
    Thanks/Like snaphappy, N/A, gusflores, Flugelbinder Thanks/liked this post
     

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  4. #44
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
    Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
    Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
    Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
    Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
    Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
    Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape the light waits for him.
    Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
    Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
    Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
    When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
    Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
    Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
    Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink Ken doesn't even need to think once
    Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
    Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
    Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
    Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
    Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
    Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
    When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
    Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
    On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
    Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
    When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
    For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
    Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
    Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
    Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
    The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
    Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
    A certain braind of high-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
    Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
    Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
     

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  5. #45
    Senior Member
    snaphappy's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Quote Originally Posted by nikonpup View Post
    probably one of the "in crowd" jokes. :-)
    Darn guess I'm not in the "in crowd" cause I still can't see anything. I guess my Mac didn't think it funny so won't open it

  6. #46
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Quote Originally Posted by snaphappy View Post
    Darn guess I'm not in the "in crowd" cause I still can't see anything. I guess my Mac didn't think it funny so won't open it
    It opens just fine on my PC but Nothing on my Iphone. It just doesn't like Apple.
    Thanks/Like snaphappy Thanks/liked this post
     

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  7. #47
    Senior Member
    snaphappy's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's
    temper and threatening manner.
    The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?
    The woman says: "Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to do. Every
    time ma hubbie comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me aroon'."
    The Doctor says: "Aye, well... I have a real good cure for that. When
    your husband arrives home intoxicated, just take a wee glass of water
    and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't
    swallow it until he goes to bed and is sound asleep."
    Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
    She says: "Doctor that was brilliant! Evrae time ma hubbie came home
    drunk, I swished with water. I swished an' swished, and he didnae
    touch me even once!
    Tell me Doc...wha's the secret? How's the water do that?"
    The Doctor says: "Janet hen, it's really nae big secret. The water
    does bugger all - it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."
    Thanks/Like Roy1961, Flugelbinder, Tom Grove Thanks/liked this post
     

  8. #48
    Senior Member
    snaphappy's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.

    A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
    "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.

    "No, they went to town" said the boy.
    "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.

    "No, he went with Mom and Dad" the boy answered.
    The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
    "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message" said the boy.
    "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

    The boy thought for a moment...
    "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the ��bull and $50 for the ��pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

    Thanks/Like TedG954, N/A Thanks/liked this post
     

  9. #49
    Senior Member
    TedG954's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    A midget from Texas was experiencing constant pain in his crotch area.

    The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.


    The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.

    The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.

    The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Hmm..." mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.


    "Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors.

    Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

    The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.

    The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

    The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.


    The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"


    The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
     
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  10. #50
    Senior Member
    nikonpup's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly
    Realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise
    Life for me!

    1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

    2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

    3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

    4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

    And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

    I'm retired. Go around me.
     

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