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  1. #11
    Senior Member
    AC016's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    During WWII, a B17 is shot down over germany and the crew is taken prisoner. The navigator, upon his landing after parachuting out of the airplane, breaks both his legs and one arm.

    After a few weeks, one of his legs becomes infected. Therefore, he asks for it to be cut it off. After the amputation, the navigator asks the Gestapo to send his leg back home to his base. They agree and do it.

    A few weeks later, they have to do the same to his other leg. Once again, he asks them to send his leg back home to his base. They comply.

    Another week later, his arm gets infected and he asks for them to amputate again. They say, "Nein!! we can no longer do this for you!"

    THe navigator is a bit perplexed and asks, "why?"

    They reply, "Because, we think you are trying to escape!"


    › See More: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.
     
    Who dares, wins.

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  2. #12
    Senior Member
    snaphappy's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Haha so cheesy they're funny
    Thanks/Like Warlock Thanks/liked this post
     

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    TedG954's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Q Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?

    A He wanted to get a long little doggy.




    Q What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

    A Make me one with everything.



    Q Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

    A Because if they had 4 doors they'd be chicken sedans.
    Last edited by TedG954; 02-23-2013 at 11:13 PM.
    Thanks/Like snaphappy, fotojack, Warlock Thanks/liked this post
     
    Nikon D800.....Sony A7RII.....Nikon D3300 (IR dedicated 590nm).....Sony A6000 APS-C........NEX 5T (IR dedicated 720nm) (and too many lenses)

    If you'd like to see more, please visit my gallery at:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/120761444@N07/

    Become an Organ Donor today: http://donatelife.net/register-now/ Save as many as 50 lives. Thanks.




  4. #14
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    we are sure living up to the title of the thread

    Dumb Jokes Posted Here

    Thanks/Like TedG954, Warlock Thanks/liked this post
     

    ================================================== ============================
    D750***D7100***24-120 f/4 ***70-300***Tamron 150-600***Tokina 16-28 f2.8***50mm f/1.8***Photoshop/Lightroom CC

  5. #15
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    How do you tell if some one is a real photographer? You ask them to answer this question. Suppose you were walking through the woods and you came upon a clearing. In that clearing is a lake and in the lake is a man is obviously drowning. Now you only have time to do one of the following - save his life or take a photo. Now here's the question. Which lens should you use?

    Two photographers walking along a street and they pass a beggar sitting with his hat up-ended on the pavement, begging for money. One guy keeps walking. The other stops. Later when they catch up with each other the first guy says to the other. "Hey I saw you stop for that beggar. What did you give him?"

    "Oh" says the first guy, "1/125th at f5.6"
    Thanks/Like TedG954, SkvLTD, fotojack, Flugelbinder Thanks/liked this post
     

    ================================================== ============================
    D750***D7100***24-120 f/4 ***70-300***Tamron 150-600***Tokina 16-28 f2.8***50mm f/1.8***Photoshop/Lightroom CC

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    TedG954's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    Haunted French pancakes give me the crępes.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

    When Chemists die, they barium.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    PMS jokes aren't funny; period...

    We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

    Broken pencils are pointless.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded some dough.
     
    Nikon D800.....Sony A7RII.....Nikon D3300 (IR dedicated 590nm).....Sony A6000 APS-C........NEX 5T (IR dedicated 720nm) (and too many lenses)

    If you'd like to see more, please visit my gallery at:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/120761444@N07/

    Become an Organ Donor today: http://donatelife.net/register-now/ Save as many as 50 lives. Thanks.




  7. #17
    RIP :(
    Don Kuykendall's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Q: Why is flying an F-16 better than flying an F-22?





    A: It’s one stop faster!
     

    ================================================== ============================
    D750***D7100***24-120 f/4 ***70-300***Tamron 150-600***Tokina 16-28 f2.8***50mm f/1.8***Photoshop/Lightroom CC

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    TedG954's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    Yesterday my niece again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

    I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.


    She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

    She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

    "I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." I told her. She fainted.

    Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.


    --
     
    Nikon D800.....Sony A7RII.....Nikon D3300 (IR dedicated 590nm).....Sony A6000 APS-C........NEX 5T (IR dedicated 720nm) (and too many lenses)

    If you'd like to see more, please visit my gallery at:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/120761444@N07/

    Become an Organ Donor today: http://donatelife.net/register-now/ Save as many as 50 lives. Thanks.




  9. #19
    Senior Member
    Horoscope Fish's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    A mushroom walks into a bar, orders a scotch and soda. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve mushrooms. You're going to have leave now."

    The mushroom, looking all dejected, says, "Come on barkeep, I'm a fungi!"
    Thanks/Like TedG954, snaphappy, Warlock, grandpaw Thanks/liked this post
     

  10. #20
    Senior Member
    TedG954's Avatar

    Re: Dumb Jokes Posted Here.... if you dare.

    At a bar in New York, a Frenchman, beret and all, walks in with a parrot on his shoulder.

    The bartender looks at the Frenchman with the parrot on his shoulder and says, "Where did you get that thing?"

    The parrot looks right back at him and says, "In Montreal. They're everywhere!"

     
    Nikon D800.....Sony A7RII.....Nikon D3300 (IR dedicated 590nm).....Sony A6000 APS-C........NEX 5T (IR dedicated 720nm) (and too many lenses)

    If you'd like to see more, please visit my gallery at:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/120761444@N07/

    Become an Organ Donor today: http://donatelife.net/register-now/ Save as many as 50 lives. Thanks.








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